RN Heroes

New Zealand Nursing Council Registration

2009-12-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Filipino nurses who wish to register with the Nursing Council of New Zealand must show proof that they are registered with the Professional Regulatory Commission (PRC) of the Philippines as a nurse and they must either 1) have completed an assessment program or 2) have earned a qualification equivalent to a New Zealand nursing qualification.

Only a nursing degree earned from an Australian nursing school is deemed equivalent to a NZ nursing qualification, so unless you have the money to enroll in Australia or NZ, the best route to take is the 6-week competency assessment program.

To simplify the application process, here's what you need to do:

1. Take the IELTS. A band of 7 on all parts of the exam is required by the NZ Nursing Council. An average of 7, with scores below 7 in any part will not qualify you for registration. You must consistently score at least 7 in all parts--reading, listening, writing and speaking.

2. Once you have the IELTS, contact the NZ Nursing Council. You will need to download a form which you will need to fill up and then send certified copies of your passport, birth certificate, mariage certificate, curriculum vitae, and police clearance, among others.

You can get the form here.

Remember that documents requested by the Council must be authenticated by the Department of Foreign Affairs. Typically, you will need to request your documents from the appropriate agency (NSO, PRC, etc.) and then go to the DFA for the documents to be authenticated and affixed with a seal.

3. The NZ Nursing Council will also require you to submit your IELTS report. You must request this from the testing agency which will directly send your report to the Council.

4. Once you have all your documents ready, send them to the Council together with NZ$465 registration fee.

5. Once your application has been processed, the Council will advise you to enroll in an accredited Assessment Program.

You can get a list of approved programs here.

*About the Assessment Program*

An introduction to nursing in New Zealand including cultural safety and legal requirements of practice. Overseas registered nurses seeking registration in New Zealand need to apply to the Nursing Council for registration criteria and provide the Department of Nursing and Health Studies with evidence of this and of English language assessment (for ESOL students) prior to commencing the course. Clinical evaluation will be based on the NZ Nursing Council Competencies.

NZ$ 3600 Tuition Fee (ranges from NZ$3,500 to NZ$4,500)
NZ$ 1050 Homestay (NZ$175 * 6weeks) (inside campus dormitory)
NZ$ 230 one-time reg. fee
NZ$ 80 for the medical/travel insurance (9 wks)
---------
NZ$ 4960 Total

6. If you have the notice already from the Council, you can apply for a student visa with the NZ Embassy.

7. Once you complete your assessment program, you may apply for a work-to-residence permit which you can use to be employed in NZ.

There are several Filipino groups in New Zealand who can help you make the transition. Look up pinoyz2nz in Yahoogroups if you think you'll need assistance.

If you don't have work experience, it would be difficult for you to be recruited by a government hospital in NZ where the pay is higher compared to other institutions. Some nursing homes, however, hire nurses even without prior experience.

Click here to get more information about the registration process in New Zealand.

Good luck.

Applying for IELTS

2009-12-05T22:39:00.001+08:00

IELTS: Basic Information & Things to Remember When Applying

IELTS: Tips and Information

IELTS Examination is given here by 2 Companies, IDP Australia and the British Council. Here are some of the information about these 2 companies.

BRITISH COUNCIL
IELTS Administrator
10/F Taipan Place
Emerald Avenue
Ortigas Centre, Pasig City 1605

Tel: 632 9141011-14
Fax: 632 9141020

Email: ielts@britishcouncil.org.ph
Web: http://www.britishcouncil.org.ph

IDP AUSTRALIA
ELTS Administrator
2nd Floor Pioneer House Makati
108 Paseo de Roxas, Legaspi Village
Makati City, Metro Manila 1229
(located accross Starbucks in the Old Greenbelt)

Tel: 632 816 0755
Fax: 632 815 9875
Office Hours: 9:30am to 4pm (Monday to Friday)
Saturdays: Half Day

Email: info@manila.idp.com

Test Fee: Php 8640.00

I can share more information with regards to IDP Australia since this is where I applied. When you try to give them a call do not expect to be able to talk to an operator. All you can get is automated informations but most of the questions you have in mind would be found in one of the prompted message.

IDP Australia only accepts cash and manager's check as payments. If you are to make a manager's check please make it payable to IDP EDUCATION AUSTRALIA. Please be reminded to check their site or give them a call since prices may change without any prior notice.

It would also save you a lot of time if you download the application form from the website and accomplish it before proceeding to their office for submission.

Please bring additional pictures just in case though in your application you would already be submitting 2 passport size pictures.

DO NOT forget to bring your valid ID usually people bring their passport or their PRC License.

Upon submission and paying please wait for a few days to a week to receive a letter coming from them regarding the details of your exam such as the venue, time, date and even the location map of your exam venue.

Usually 2 weeks before the test date that you wish to schedule is sufficient to be rostered for that exam. This would still depend on the number of examinees applying for a certain date.

On the day of the exam, one thing that you should never forget is your IDENTIFICATION CARD you used when applying since this would be the only one that would be accepted as your reference and entry for the exam. Try not to bring many valuables on the day of the exam since all of your things would be deposited in one area without any numbers so anything can happen but so far no incidents but just for your own safety. Only cellphones are the ones wherein they give numbers when deposited but as for bags they just place it in one area.

Philippine Board Of Nursing Course Syllabus

2009-12-05T22:36:00.000+08:00

Philippine Board Of Nursing Course Syllabus

Board of Nursing

Foundations of Nursing Practice Including
Professional Adjustment
(Course Syllabus)

I. Description

Theories, concepts, principles and processes basic to the practice of nursing.

II. Terminal Competencies

1. Utilizes the nursing process in the care of individuals, families and communities.
2. Communicates effectively with patients/clients, families as well as other members of the health team in various settings.
3. Demonstrates leadership and management skills to ensure safe and quality nursing care.
4. Relates effectively with others in work situations.
5. Utilizes concepts, theories, principles in the care of clients.
6. Ensures a well-organized, accurate recording and reporting system.
7. Participates in research activities and utilizes research findings to improve nursing practice.
8. Observes ethico-moral values and legal responsibilities in nursing care.
9. Assumes responsibility for personal and professional growth.

III. Content Outline

1. Professional Nursing
A. Historical perspectives in nursing
B. Nursing as a profession
C. Theories in nursing
D. Health care delivery system
2. Health and Illness Behavior

A. Man as a biopsycho-socio - cultural- spiritual being
B. Factors influencing health and illness
C. Risk factors
D. Adaptation to stress and anxiety
E. Life span, cycle and development
3. Interactive Processes
A. Nurse client relationship
B. Teaching learning process
C. Documentation/recording
D. Communication
E. Therapeutic use of self

4. Safety, Comfort and Hygiene
A. Safety
B. Management of pain
C. Hygiene
D. Mobility and immobility
E. Skin integrity
F. Sensory alteration
G. Substance abuse

5. Basic Physiological Needs
A. Oxygenation
B. Nutrition
C. Rest and sleep
D. Fluid and electrolyte balance
E. Urinary elimination
F. Bowel elimination
G. Activity and exercise

6. Basic Psychosocial Needs
A. Safety and security
B. Love and belonging
C. Spiritual needs
D. Sexuality and sexual needs
E. Self concept
F. Death, grief and grieving
G. Sensory deprivation and body image
H. Crisis intervention

7. Basic Nursing Skills
A. Nursing process
B. Admission and discharge
C. Vital signs
D. Physical examination and health assessment
E. Administration of medications
F. Asepsis and infection control
G. Emergency measures
H. Wound care
I. Care of the dying and the dead
J. Perioperative care
K. Others
8. Ethico-legal Aspects
A. Nursing ethics
B. Legal aspects in the practice of nursing
C. The Philippine Nursing Law
D. Related laws affecting the practice of nursing
E. Continuing education for nurses
F. Professional organizations of nursing
9. Management and Leadership
A. Theories and principles of management
B. Standards of nursing practice
C. Elements of administration and management/functions of management
D. Leadership style
E. Organization
F. Staffing
G. Patient Care Classification System
H. Patterns/modalities of nursing care
10. Basic Research
A. Ethics and scientific research
B. The scientific approach
C. Research process
D. Research design/methodology
E. Steps in doing research

MATERNAL AND CHILD HEALTH NURSING

I. Description

Concepts, theories, principles and processes basic to the delivery of safe and quality nursing care of mother and child. It encompasses promotive and preventive care of mothers with normal health conditions including curative and rehabilitative care to those with disturbances in reproductive health. Further, it focuses on the nursing care to children in various stages of growth and development.

II. Terminal Competencies

1. Utilizes the nursing processes in the care of mother and child/their families and communities.
2. Communicates effectively with the clients and families as well as with other members of the health team in various settings.
3. Demonstrates leadership and management skills in promoting safe and quality nursing care to clients.
4. Utilizes concepts, theories and principles in the care of clients.
5. Utilizes research findings to improve the nursing care to clients, family and community.
6. Adheres to ethico-legal and moral imperatives of health care.
7. Recognizes his/her responsibility for personal and professional growth and development.

III. Content Outline

1. Foundation of Maternal and Child Health Nursing Practice/Biophysical Aspects of Human Reproduction
A. Philosophy, goals
B. Concepts, theories, principles and standards of care
C. Anatomy and physiology
D. Sexuality
E. Menstrual cycle
F. Responsible parenthood
G. Theories and principles of growth and development

2. Pregnancy-Antepartum
A. Stages of fetal development
B. Signs and symptoms of pregnancy
C. Nursing care
D. Birth setting and alternative methods of delivery
E. Physiological and psychological changes of pregnancy
F. Needs of pregnant women
G. Danger signs and symptoms
H. Complications of pregnancy

3. Pregnancy-intrapartum
A. Theories of labor
B. Components of labor: 3 P-s
C. Nursing care during labor
D. Analgesia and anesthesia of labor and delivery
E. Complications of labor and delivery

4. Postpartum and Newborn
A. Placental stage
B. Nursing care of the mother
C. Nursing care of the newborn
D. Breast feeding/rooming-in
E. Complications of postpartum

5. Puerperium and Infancy
A. Involution
B. Care of the mother
C. Physical, motor, cognitive, psycho-social and language development
D. Well-baby care
E. Nutrition, immunization, play activities
F. Common problems/disorders of infancy

6. Toddler
A. Physical, motor, cognitive, psycho-social, language and moral development
B. Toilet training
C. Well-baby care
D. Nutrition, immunization, play activities
E. Common problems/disorders of toddlers

7. Pre-Schooler/Schooler
A. Physical, cognitive, psycho-social and moral development
B. Sibling rivalry
C. Play activities
D. Sex education
E. Common problems/disorders of pre-schooler/schooler

8. Pre-adolescent/Adolescent
A. Physical, psycho-social and moral development
B. Sex characteristics
C. Needs and tasks
D. Common problems/disorders of pre-adolescent/adolescent

9. Problems/Disorders in Children
A. Prematurity
B. Congenital malformations
C. Nephrotic Syndrome
D. Metabolic disturbances
F. Infectious diseases

10. Problem/Disorders in Mothers including gynecologic disorders
A. High risk maternal conditions
B. Pregrancy related conditions
C. Metabolic, cardiac, hematologic aberrations in pregrancy
D. Menopause
E. Cellular aberrations of the reproductive organs
F. Degenerative disorders of women

COMMUNITY HEALTH NURSING
AND COMMUNICABLE DISEASE NURSING

I. Description

This course deals with health programs, services and strategies of the Department of Health; concepts, philosophy, goals and objectives of Community Health Nursing; and the basic roles, functions and responsibilities of the community health nurse. It also includes care of clients with non-communicable
and communicable diseases.

II. Terminal Competencies

1. Utilizes the the nursing process in the care of individuals, families and communities.
2. Utilizes leadership and management process as an important tool of the health care provider in varied health care settings.
3. Communicates effectively with clients, families, communities and other members of health care.
4. Conducts research and uses research findings to improve health care in the community.
5. Demonstrates appropriate attitudes/behaviors as a model health professional.
6. Implements the concepts, principles and values of primary health care as health care provider.
7. Participates in the implementation of DOH health programs, services and strategies.
8. Participates in activities related to the prevention and control of communicable diseases.
9. Assumes responsibility for personal and professional development.

III. Content Outline

1. The Philippine Health Care Delivery System
A. National Health Plan
B. Health scenarios

2. Legislations affecting Community Health Nursing Practice
A. Laws
B. Executive orders and letters of instructions
C. DOH Circulars/Memoranda

3. Primary Health Care
A. Definition
B. Conceptual framework
C. Essential elements
D. Types of PHC workers

4. Health Programs, Services and Strategies
A. Maternal and child health
B. Nutrition
C. Dental hygience
D. Environmental sanitation
E. Vital and health statistics
F. Occupational health
G. Health education

5. Care of Older Persons
A. Needs of older persons Issues and concerns
C. Common diseases affecting older persons
D. Nursing functions and responsibilities

6. Community Health Nursing
A. Definition and concepts
B. Philosophy, goals and objectives
C. Principles and process
D. Levels of care

7. Roles, Functions and Responsibilities of the Community Health Nurse
A. Nursing process
B. Nursing procedures
C. Nursing management
D. Nursing research
E. Personal and professional development

8. Nursing Care of clients with communicable diseases
A. General principles and techniques
B. Epidemiology
C. Prevention and control
D. Nursing functions and responsibilities

9. Nursing Care of clients with Non-Communicable Diseases
A. Prevalence
B. Risk Factors
C. Prevention and control
D. Nursing functions and responsibilities

10. Research in Community Health Nursing
A. Applied research
B. Utilization of research findings
C. Records and reports Field Health Services and Information System

NURSING CARE OF ADOLESCENTS,
ADULTS AND AGED

I. Description

Nursing care of clients with alterations in health patterns throughout the life cycle utilizing the nursing process. This course also includes disaster nursing and care of clients in acute biological crises.

II. Terminal Competencies

1. Applies the nursing process to health care situations.
2. Relates the pathological changes brought about by stresses, illness, etc. to patient care.
3. Institutes health teaching strategies to help create a therapeutic environment for clients, families and communities.
4. Utilizes the different techniques of enabling the clients, families and communities to cope with illness or death.
5. Strives to continue reaffirming the dignity and worth of man through the provision of supportive comfort measures to patients, families and communities at all times and even when death is inevitable.
6. Communicates effectively with clients and members of the health team.
7. Analyzes socio-economic, cultural, political and other factors in relation to the occurrences of illness or disease conditions.
8. Integrates the socio-political, technological and economic systems and their influence on the Philippine health care delivery.
9. Conducts research and uses research studies to improve patient care.
10. Assumes responsibility for personal and professional growth.

III. Content Outline

1. Concepts of Stress and Illness
A. Health-illness continuum
B. Epidemiology of illness
C. Stress models
D. Response to stress

2. Nursing Interventions in Illness

A. Holistic approach in different stages of development stages
1. Biophysical
2. Psychosocial
B. Pharmacological therapeutics
C. Patients in surgery
D. Patients in pain
E. The dying process

3. Care of Patients with Specific Disturbances in
A. Oxygenation
B. Fluids and electrolytes . Metabolism
D. Inflammatory and immunologic responses
E. Perception and coordination . Cellular aberrations

4. Care of Patients with Peripheral Vascular Disorders
A. Structure, function and assessment
B. Arterial disorders
C. Venous and lymphatic disorders
D. Diagnostic procedures

5. Care of Patients with Urinary Disorders
A. Structures, function and assessment
B. Renal disorders
C. Diagnostic procedures

6. Care of Patients with Integumentary Disorders
A. Structure, function and assessment
B. Protection of the skin, hair and nail
C. Restoring skin structure and function

7. Care of Patients with Hematologic Disorders
A. Basic concepts of hematology assessment
B. Blood transfusion
C. Erythrocytes disorders
D. Diagnostic procedures

8. Care of Patients with Neurologic Disorders
A. Structure, function and assessment
B. Head and spinal injury
C. Diagnostic procedures

9. Care of Patients Experiencing Disorders of the Liver, Biliary Tract and Pancreas
A. Structure, functions and assessment
B. Evaluation and management

C. Diagnostic procedures

10. Nurses Role in
A. Infection control
B. I.V. therapy
C. Emergency and disaster situations
D. Life threatening conditions

MENTAL HEALTH AND PSYCHIATRIC NURSING

I. Description

Principles, concepts and theories underlying psychiatric nursing care to individuals, families and communities in a variety of settings.

II. Terminal Competencies

1. Utilizes knowledge from the psychological, biological sciences, theories of personality and human behavior in the care of psychiatric clients.
2. Utilizes the nursing process in giving holistic nursing care to all kinds of clients.
3. Applies appropriate communication techniques with clients, families and other members of the health team in various settings.
4. Demonstrates leadership and management skills to ensure safe and quality care.
5. Works collaboratively with other members of the health team.
6. Applies the ethico-legal principles in psychiatric nursing.
7. Participates in research undertakings and utilizes findings to improve psychiatric nursing care.
8. Assumes responsibility for personal and professional growth.

III. Content Outline

1. Personality development and principles of mental health
A. Mental health as a concept
B. Principles of Psychiatric Nursing
C. Nursing process in Psychiatric Nursing
D. Research as a tool in improving psychiatric nursing care.

2. Crisis and Crisis Intervention
A. Crisis intervention
B. Common crises situations

3. Anxiety Response and Anxiety Disorders
A. Etiological theories of anxiety
B. Levels of anxiety
C. Ego defense mechanisms
D. Anxiety related disorders

4. Anxiety Disorders in Childhood and Adolescence
A. Childhood
B. Adolescence

5. Psychophysiologic disorders
A. Theories of psychophysiologic disorders
B. Predisposing factors
C. Common organ systems affected by psychological factors

D. Nursing care and psychopharmacology

6. Personality disorders
A. Psychodynamics of personality disorders
B. Predisposing factors
C. Types of personality disorders
D. Nursing care and psychopharmacology

7. Emotional responses and mood disorders
A. Psychodynamics of mood disorders
B. Predisposing factors
C. Alterations in mood
D. Treatment modalities, psychopharmacology and nursing care

8. Thought disorders (Schizophrenia and psychotic disorders)
A. Theories of etiology of schizophrenia
B. Types of schizophrenia
C. Primary and secondary symptoms of schizophrenia
D. Treatment modalities, psychopharmacology and nursing care

9. Substance abuse and related disorders
A. Alcoholism
B. Drug abuse and dependence
C. Treatment modalities, psychopharmacology and nursing care

10. Organic Mental Syndrome and Disorders
A. Etiology
B. Fundamental principles in the care of cognitively impaired person
C. Organic mental syndrome
D. Organic mental disorders
E. Treatment modalities, psychopharmacology and nursing care

Getting to Pearson Vue Manila Office

2009-12-05T22:30:00.001+08:00

Test-takers of the NCLEX will sit for the exam for the first time right here in Manila starting Aug. 23. This is indeed a big relief for Filipino applicants and by extension, all other applicants from other neighboring ASEAN countries. Compared to Hong Kong, accommodations and the cost of basic goods is surely much cheaper in the Philippines.

Earlier, we uploaded a map to locate the Pearson Professional Centers-Manila test center. If you're taking public transportation and need directions to the test center, here's a short guide to help you.

Getting there:
From Quezon City -- The fastest way is by riding the MRT. Get off Buendia station. Walk towards the Shell gas station, across it is a jeepney terminal. Get on any of the jeepneys plying the Buendia route and ask the driver to drop you off at RCBC Plaza. After you get off, cross the street and walk towards the Shell Maya gas station. Trident Tower is a building or two after the gas station.

Another option is by taking a bus from Buendia station after getting off the MRT. Take the Ayala-bound bus and ask to be let off at RCBC Plaza. Walk towards the back of RCBC Plaza where you'll see the Shell Maya gas station.

From Marikina -- A number of FX or shuttle vans travel to Makati daily. Take an FX to Makati. Usually shuttle vans turn around before reaching RCBC Plaza, but ask the driver if he'll pass by RCBC Plaza. If not, ask to be let off either along Buendia Ave. and take a jeepney from there to RCBC Plaza or along Ayala Ave. where you can walk towards RCBC Plaza. When you reach RCBC Plaza, walk towards the Shell Maya station. Trident Tower is a building or two away from the gas station.

From Parañaque -- You can take a bus or a shuttle van to Makati. Most shuttle vans let you off at the Landmark mall terminal. From Landmark, take a jeepney to Pacific Star building at Buendia and from there take another jeepney towards RCBC Plaza.

From Taft -- Take a bus to Makati, preferably one that will pass by Buendia Ave. Get off at Shell Maya gas station, right after RCBC Plaza. Walk towards Trident Tower right after the gas station.

If you take the LRT, get off at the Buendia station, and ride a bus to Makati. There are two types of buses: one that passes along Ayala Ave. and one that passes along Buendia Ave. take the bus that goes through Buendia and get off at Shell Maya gas station right after the Ayala-Buendia intersection. You can still take the bus that passes through Ayala Ave. but you have to get off before the Ayala-Buendia intersection. You can walk to RCBC Plaza and Shell Maya gas station from there, and then to the Pearson office.

From the Domestic Airport -- you can get a cab to Makati or take a bus to Makati. You can either get off at Buendia Ave. or get off Taft Ave. and take the MRT to Buendia station. Once in Buendia, take a jeepney across the Shell gas station to RCBC Plaza. Trident Tower is a building or two away from the Shell Maya gas station.

From Ayala MRT station -- If you prefer to get off at the Ayala MRT station, take an Ayala Loop jeepney and get off at Makati Medical Hospital. Walk towards Ayala Ave., cross the street to RCBC Plaza and walk towards the Shell Maya gas station. Trident Tower is a building or two away from the gas station.

Special note: Makati is notorious for its horrendous traffic jams. So, scout the area before your test date and go early to the test center on the big day itself.

If possible, don't schedule an early morning or late afternoon exam to avoid rush hour.

You don't have to stay near the test center, but there are several hotels, condotels, and places that offer accommodations in Makati. We'll provide a list of hotels near the test site soon.

Fare: The MRT charges a maximum of P15 from the farthest terminal. Jeepney fares cost P7. From Buendia, a bus ride costs P10. Flagdown rate for taxi cabs starts at P30.

Requirements for Hospital Employment

2009-12-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

Here's a list of contacts and application requirements asked for by different hospitals in Manila. We'll add to the list from time to time. If you need information for a hospital that's not on our list, please send us a note in the comments box or through the Forum. (Thanks to Bing Gaffud for this list.)

Manila Doctors
* Resume, TOR, diploma, board rating (the one that was mailed to us), license or certificate.
Put in a long brown envelope with your name and telephone number outside

PGH - 521-8450
* Dean's form: TOR, board rating, RLE. Resume with 2x2 photo (black & white), certification from previous employer (if any), PRC license, PNA membership
* Submit in a big brown envelope to the DNRD office Mon. to fri. 7am to 5:30pm

(UPDATED 07/20/07)UST Hospital - Espana, Manila - 7313001 (loc. 2454)
* Resume, TOR, board rating, license and certificate, RLE, and application letter addressed to Mr. Ferdinand C. Maagkasi (head of Human Resources
* Bring the Original documents and photocopies
* 1 pc long green expandable folder and plastic fastener

St Luke’s – 7230301 (loca. 4913)
* Resume, TOR, board rating, license and certificate, RLE, general weighted average, 2 pcs, 2x2 picture with white background, SSS, TIN, barangay clearance, NBI

Capitol Medical Center – 3723825
* Comprehensive resume, 3 pcs recents 2x2 ID picture with blue background, TOR, board rating, license and certificate, RLE, diploma, birth certificate, SSS ID or SSS E-1, TIN, police clearance, NBI, professional tax receipt, barangay clearance
* Schedule of application: Tues. and Thurs. only from 9am to 3pm

Chinese General Hospital – 7114141
Resume with character reference with tel. number, TOR, board rating, license, NBI, diploma, birth certificate

Infant Jesus Hospital – 7312771
Resume with 2x2 picture, TOR, board rating with breakdown of grades, license, RLE, (just bring other documents)

Lung Center training program - 924-6101 loc. 270
* Resume, TOR, diploma, RLE, board rating, license, PRC certificate, 1x1 picture, P300 for CXR

Philippine Children's Medical Center - 9246601 loc. 252
* Resume, board rating, license, TOR, application letter addressed to Dr. Julius A. Lecciones, executive director

(Updated)
Asian Hospital and Medical Center
Civic Drive, Filinvest Corporate City,
Alabang, Muntinlupa City
Tels. (632) 771-9000 ext. 8421 / 8425 / 8465
E-mail: hr@asianhospital.com
*Resume, TOR with RLE, Diploma, PRC License, IVT license, Basic Life Support training, Certificate of Board Rating, training certificates, employment certificates or Certificate of Good Moral Character if new graduate, three referral letters (referral from the college accepted if new graduate)

Metropolitan Hospital - 255-0401, 255-0413
*Application Letter addressed to the Nursing Service of Metropolitan Hospital, Resume, 2 pcs. 2x2 photo, 2 pcs. 1x1 photo, PRC License (or Claim Stub), Certificate of Board Rating, TOR, Diploma, Certificate of Good Moral Character, Certificate of Employment, if applicable

Philippine Heart Center - 9231301
*TOR with RLE, Certificate of Class Ranking with GWA, Certificate of Board Rating (2 copies), PRC License (2 copies), Work and Training certificates, Certificate or ID card showing membership in any organization (PNA, etc.), NBI Clearance, Residence Certificate, 3 PCS. 2x2 photo

Medical City - 631-8626
*Resume, TOR, diploma, board rating

Makati Medical Center - 815-9911
*Resume w/ recent 2x2 pic, certificate of Good Moral Character, diploma, TOR, board rating and certificate, PRC License (or photocopy of your claim stub, Birth Certificate (Submit photocopies but bring original docs. Submissions accepted usually between 8AM to 12NN.

We encourage you to call the hospital first if there are additional requirements.

// Resources // Key contacts for Illinois license application

2009-12-05T22:22:00.001+08:00

It's always good to know who to contact when you've hit a bump in your application. Here's a short list of people who could help sort out your concerns when applying for a license in Illinois:

If you want to request for fingerprint cards or ask a question about applying for a nursing license in Illinois, you may get in touch with:

Kittie D. West
FPR.PRFGROUP09(at)illinois.gov
Board Liaison, Health Services Section
Division of Professional Regulation
IL Dept. of Financial and Professional Regulation

When applying for Illinois, you send your application to Continental Testing Services. If you have concerns with your application, you could contact:

Sue Zajda
szajda(at)continentaltesting.net
Continental Testing Services

Fingerprinting is mandatory for most US states, including Illinois. There are several companies that can process your fingerprint cards, one of them is Integrated Biometric Technology. To ask for the current prices or other concerns you might have, you may contact:

Dianna Smith
dksmith(at)L1id.com
Integrated Biometric Technology
An L-1 Identity Solutions Company
Protecting and Securing Personal Identities and Assets

(Identix Identification Services has now merged with IBT)

1650 Wabash Ave, Suite D
Springfield, IL 62704
Telephone: 217-547-2130
Facsimile: 217-793-7393
Web site: www.L1id.com

IMPORTANT NOTE: These people have been very helpful and have been very accommodating, so when you contact them, please ask kindly. Show respect and they will give the same back to you.

Documents Required to Start the work visa petition to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)

2007-10-28T11:43:00.001+08:00

The following documents are required to start the work visa petition to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS):Filipino Nurses and Allied Health pros!

Employment contracts signed by the nurse and healthcare facility (employer)
Financial declaration statement of the employer
Healthcare facility signatory's title, federal ID number, address, phone and fax numbers, and year of establishment
Nurse's high school and college transcripts (in English)
Birth certificate of nurse, and those of immediate family if applicable
Marriage Certificate (if applicable)
Valid Passport
Two fotos (2"x2")

Tests Required for Filipino Nurses to work in US

2007-10-28T11:43:00.000+08:00

Tests Required for Filipino Nurses

The following tests will need to be passed to qualify for a U.S. work visa:

NCLEX®
VisaScreen™ Certificate
IELTS or TOEFL (TWE & TSE)
CGFNS certificate (or RN license from state of intended employment) - Required by most U.S. state boards of nursing in order to be eligible to apply for licensure within that state.

NCLEX® Exam - An application-based test, consisting of four major categories and eight subcategories, which is organized according to the framework: "Meeting Client Needs." All of the exam questions involve integrated, not separated, nursing content. Nurses are tested on critical-thinking skills to make nursing judgments. The NCLEX currently costs $200* + an international scheduling fee of $150 plus a Value Added Tax (VAT) where applicable.

VisaScreen™ Certificate - Program offered by the International Commission on Healthcare Professions (ICHP, a division of CGFNS) enabling healthcare professionals to meet U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) requirement of verifying and evaluating nursing credentials to ensure that they meet the government minimum requirements. The VisaScreen™ is comprised of an educational analysis, licensure validation, English-language proficiency assessment (IELTS or TOEFL [TWE+TSE] satisfies this requirement), and for nurses, an exam of nursing knowledge. This currently costs $398*.

IELTS or TOEFL

IELTS: Candidates complete four modules - listening, reading, writing and speaking to obtain an IELTS Test Report Form. Total Test Time: 2 hours 45 minutes
For the TOEFL, TWE and TSE, registered nurses must submit a score of 540 on the written TOEFL or 207 on the computer- based TOEFL, 4.0 on the TWE and 50 on the TSE.
The Test of Spoken English (TSE) lasts approximately 20 minutes and there are nine questions on the test to which you respond. The Test of Written English (TWE®) is also required for everyone taking the paper-based TOEFL test. Test takers are given 30 minutes to write a short essay on an assigned topic. The essay is evaluated on the test taker's ability to support and organize new ideas and to use standard written English. Special knowledge of the topic is not needed to write the essay.
The IELTS currently costs Php 8,960* which is about $173.

Education Australia Philippines and the British Council conducts IELTS tests in the following cities, contact them directly for test dates:Makati, Pasig, Bacolod, Baguio, Cagayan de Oro, Cebu City, Davao, Iloilo, Zamboanga

TOEFL can be taken via a written test or via computer. Prometric, a division of Thomson Learning offers the computer-based test in the Philippines at:

Cebu City International STC #8473c/o Train, Educ & Dev Cons Inc Suite308-Centro Maximo D Jakosalem STCebu City Phone: +63 32.253.5514 Site Code: 8473
Manila, Philippines #8479 Ateneo Professional Schools, 130 H De La Costa Street, Salcedo Village Makati City 1200 Phone: +63 2.892.0383 Site Code: 8479
The University of the Philippines in Diliman and the International School in Makati also offer the TOEFL.

The TOEFL costs US$140* (which is about 7,250 PHP*) for either the Computer-Based Test or the Paper-Based Test (PBT) and includes 1 examinee score record and 4 score recipients.

CGFNS: Includes the Certification Program; which is is comprised of three parts: a credentials review of the nurse's education, registration and licensure; the CGFNS Qualifying Exam testing nursing knowledge; and an English language proficiency exam; plus the Credentials Evaluation Service (CES), which analyzes international credentials in terms of how they compare with U.S. standards and expectations of multiple types and levels of healthcare professionals educated outside of the U.S., or with an international educational background. This currently costs $368* for new applicants.

TOPNOTCHERS NLE JUNE 2007

2007-10-27T15:20:00.000+08:00

Topnotchers NLE June 2007

2007-10-26T20:27:00.000+08:00

NCSBN sets date for implementation at new international testing sites for NCLEX® Examinations
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEFebruary 9, 2006
The announcement of additional international tests sites is very good news indeed. It does not address the fact that most of the foreign nurse graduates who apply for this exam, are educated in the Philippines. Of these nurses, many are located in the Philippines and find it difficult to finance the trip abroad to test.
Many of the new test site countries are not issuing Visas to nurses from the Philippines and have rigorous procedures for these nurses to obtain travel permissions to test.
For example, Taiwan and Saipan, are countries where the nurses must prove their financial stability by showing bank statements and other financial documents.
We are grateful for the open policy of Hong Kong and hope that other countries will provide a more open policy for nurses from the Philippines who will be trying to get authorization to travel to take the NCLEX®.
We are also hopeful that the NCSBN may review the Philippines as a possible site for the NCLEX® in the future.
Chicago - The National Council of State Boards of Nursing (NCSBN), www.ncsbn.org, will begin NCLEX® testing at the newly selected international Pearson Professional Centers on April 1, 2006. Appointments for testing on, or after April 1, will begin on February 15, 2006.
The new centers will be located in Sydney, Australia; Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver, Canada; Frankfurt, Germany; Mumbai, New Delhi, Hyderabad, Bangalore, and Chennai, India; Mexico City, Mexico; and Taipei, Taiwan. Appointment availability for Pearson Professional Centers in Chiyoda-ku, and Yokohama, Japan will be announced at a later date. These new sites are in addition to centers in London, England; Seoul, South Korea; and Hong Kong, which have been operational since January 2005.
Intended for the purposes of domestic nurse licensure in U.S. states and territories, additional sites were chosen based on the same rigorous criteria that the three current sites were evaluated on before their selection. The evaluation included security and geographic representation outside of the current member board of nursing locations. All security policies and procedures currently used to administer the NCLEX examination domestically will be fully implemented at these new international locations.
Administration of the NCLEX examination abroad does not contradict or circumvent any current board of nursing process or requirement. All international candidates are required to apply to the board of nursing in the state or territory where they wish to be licensed before registering for the NCLEX examination. The NCLEX examination fee for all candidates is $200. Candidates who elect to take the NCLEX at an international site will pay an additional $150 when they schedule their examination. State and territorial NCLEX examination fees remain at their current levels and are not being used to subsidize the international testing initiative.
The National Council of State Boards of Nursing, Inc. (NCSBN) is a not-for-profit organization whose membership comprises the boards of nursing in the 50 states, the District of Columbia, and five United States territories – American Samoa, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.
Mission: The National Council of State Boards of Nursing (NCSBN), composed of Member Boards, provides leadership to advance regulatory excellence for public protection.
Media inquiries may be directed to the contact listed above. Technical inquiries about the NCLEX examination may be directed to the NCLEX Examination information line at 1.866.293.9600 or nclexinfo@ncsbn.org.

2007-10-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

Brain Drain Refrain PMC SPECIAL REPORT(First of two parts)
A surge in the demand for caregivers and nurses abroad is triggering a new round of out-migration of Filipino professionals. A different kind of ‘brain drain’ is taking place, however. While the country is increasingly losing its highly-skilled nationals, the new migrant professionals end up taking low-end jobs and are deskilled.
By Ely Manalansan PMC Reports/Reposted by Bulatlat.com
From the mid-1990s until 2000, the migration of highly skilled professional Filipinos has been recorded to rise from 25 percent to 31 percent. Academics called it the brain drain effect of globalization in Third World countries.
Now, a bonanza of job offers for caregivers and nurses abroad is inducing an escalation of the same phenomenon.
Nurses and even doctors are joining teachers, engineers, accountants, and other highly educated Filipino yuppies in migrating or applying for overseas work en masse.
What is tragic about this is that many who are taking advantage of the rash of job opportunities abroad see this as their only option to have a better future for their family. Even if they end up working in low-end jobs – a demotion from their erstwhile professions.
Alarmed, activists in the health profession have coined a new term for this development: “Brain drain in the south, brain waste in the north.”
Philippine top government officials, however, see nothing wrong with this. The labor and health departments are even instituting mechanisms to enhance the country’s capability to send “globally-competitive” health professionals abroad.
Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit, quoted in an article which appeared at a recent issue of the Health Alliance for Democracy (HEAD) Pulso ng Bayan newsletter, expressed powerlessness over the overwhelming number of health professionals leaving the country to work abroad. But he adds that the Commission on Higher Education (CHEd) should make sure that local nursing graduates be at par with international standards.
The government, through the Technical Education Skills Development Authority (TESDA), is at the forefront of training and exporting caregivers, among others, abroad. Nowadays, officers and staffers at TESDA district offices in Metro Manila have their hands full with almost a hundred accredited plus some 100 more yet unregistered caregiver schools which have sprouted along with an increasing number of professionals applying as caregivers abroad.
TESDA is the government institution mandated to accredit and monitor technical and vocational schools in the country. Caregiver training institutions are among TESDA’s areas of concern.
To make sure that the country meets the standards of foreign employers, TESDA has forged partnership with countries such as Canada that seek to raise the quality of education of Filipino caregivers.
Current rules provide that departing caregivers need to be given a “Special Order” by TESDA prior to having a Certification, Authentication and Verification (CAV) of the six-month caregiver course they took in a TESDA-accredited caregiver training school. Their prospective employers demand the same requirement.
But while Filipino professionals who are taking chances to leave their families for employment abroad may have no other choice given the bleak economic condition in the country, this phenomenon, according to the research director of the IBON Foundation, is likewise “deskilling” the country’s human resources, even as many of them end up “deskilled” in their country of destination.
“Third World professionals are deskilled while Third World countries are ‘deskilled’ or drained of skilled professionals,” Antonio Tujan, Jr., the IBON research director, says.
Wanted: caregivers and nurses
Especially in affluent countries, there is currently a boom in jobs for caregivers and nurses.
Caregiver Jobs Clearinghouse, a US-based website, advertises that 800,000 new caregivers will be needed in the US for the next seven years. At present, it adds, 100,000 positions are available.
Meanwhile, an advertisement is posted through the Philippine health department’s Exchange Visitors Program (EVP) for 500,000 nurses needed for the next five years in the US. Many doctors are said to be undergoing a one-year special course for registered nurses so they could qualify under the program.
The out-migration of nurses and other medical professionals is exacting a toll on the country’s already sub-standard health service, however. A shortage of nurses is threatening to paralyze the operations of public and private hospitals– many of their nursing staff are applying in hordes, unmindful of the work they will leave behind. At the Jose Reyes Memorial and Medical Center, for example, 25 out of 30 working nurses have pending applications abroad.
A report by the Alliance of Health Workers (AHW) reveals that over the last two years, 800 or 17 percent of nurses in 11 hospitals went abroad. This, according to AHW’s national president Emma Manuel, has come to a point where “operating rooms are staffed with novice nurses, and experienced ones often work double shifts.”
Government data puts the number of Filipino registered nurses working abroad at 300,000 – and rising. From January-August this year alone, 7,855 professional nurses left for abroad, according to statistics from the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration (POEA).
Caregivers who left the country in the first six months of the year, on the other hand, according to underrecorded data of the POEA, shot up to 86 percent. From 465 leaving caregivers POEA documented last year, as of July, 3,388 caregivers left for abroad. This further went up last August to 3,798.
Yet POEA’s statistics, especially of those going to Canada under Canada’s Live-in Caregiver Program (LCP), can be underrecorded. Many young Filipino LCP applicants do not go to the POEA since the recruitment agency they applied with in Canada takes care of their documentation requirements.
Moreover, it was only last year when the POEA started documenting Filipino migrant workers leaving as caregivers. Previously, POEA lumped caregivers together with domestic helpers.
Domestic helpers or domestics are among job categories which were recorded to be among massively deployed Filipino overseas workers, ranking fourth in latest POEA statistics. As of August, 41,597 domestics were deployed overseas.
Caregivers, according to Tujan’s article, “Health Professionals Migration and its Impact on the Philippines,” which appeared in the June 2002 issue of the Asia Pacific Research Network journal, fall under the category of Personal Services Workers which official records place at 104,000.
Global partnership
Why the high demand for caregivers and nurses abroad especially in affluent societies, may be attributed partly to the professional preference of the young population of developed countries, where nursing shortages along with the rise of private home care have been reported. Many youths in these countries loath the idea of training as nurses thus leading hospitals and other medical institutions to hire applicants from abroad.
However, Tujan says, this high demand for caregivers and nurses in developed countries is also being exploited by labor recruitment agencies which charge fees for recruitment services to hospitals and other health-care institutions, including private employers.
“They tie up with job placement agencies that proliferate in many sending countries in Asia to exploit the demand for jobs by charging placement fees for the unemployed and underemployed in such job-starved countries as the Philippines,” writes Tujan.
“This partnership is a phenomenon of globalization, an internationalization of contractual hiring, exploiting even cheaper migrant labor,” he adds.
According to Tujan, this partnership is now a major business where both sending and receiving countries profit from transactions in recruiting migrant labor from third world countries.
He explains: “Private placement agencies in collusion with government amplify by attraction and fulfill the demand for jobs in third world countries and wring the migrant worker of an even greater share of his or her future income, not from the employer, but directly through government placement fees, usury and other forms of exploitation.”
Explaining the exodus of nurses and caregivers from the Philippines, Tujan says this is due to the preference of health insurance companies for cheaper home care than hospitalization. This is one offshoot of the global trend in the privatization of health services, as a result of globalization.
“This results in the increase in the deployment of nurses for home care through manning agencies or as caregivers where their situation is no better than that of domestic help,” he says.
Canada’s LCP: a study in contrast
Nowhere is there a more dramatic surge in migration of Filipino caregivers and nurses as caregivers than in Canada.
From zero POEA-processed deployment last year, the POEA facilitated the overseas employment of 1,389 caregivers to Canada in the first six months of the year.
A staff at the marketing department of the POEA who declined to be named, says the quantity of Filipinos applying for the Canada LCP is just not enough to fill that country’s “enormous demand” for caregivers.
Canada is the only country that has a program specifically tailored for foreign caregivers. Began in 1992, the LCP is the antecedent of Canada’s 1981 Foreign Domestic Program (FDP) where migrant workers from third world countries are lured and given temporary working permits.
Under the LCP, foreign caregivers are given three years to complete a two-year requirement of serving as a caregiver, either in private nursing homes or in residences of rich Canadian citizens. After that, they are allowed to apply for immigration in Canada and seek other jobs or profession.
The LCP, however, has been criticized for keeping many Filipino professionals, especially nurses, under a 24-hour day household work for middle and upper class Canadian families.
Filipino nurses under the LCP are exploited and their development stalled, a classic example of the deskilling happening to Filipino professionals working abroad, declares the Health Alliance for Democracy (HEAD) in an article, “Globalization and the Exodus of Filipino Nurses.”
To date, as many as 300 Filipino nurses who came to Canada under the LCP, and who have been organized by the Filipino Nurses Support Group (FNSG), are slugging it out with Canadian immigration policies in seeking to be registered as nurses – which they are – and allowed to work as such.
In Canada, no point system is in place for the immigration of foreign nurses.
Canada Immigration grants zero occupational points to foreign-trained nurses applying as independent immigrants, says Maita Santiago, formerly from Canada. She now acts as spokesperson of Migrante International, a Philippine-based organization of migrant Filipinos.
Unlike Filipino nurses who came to Canada 30 years ago, Filipino nurses cannot immediately practice their profession. This, says Santiago, forces many foreign nurses to go to Canada as caregivers under the LCP.
After finishing their two-year contract as caregivers, however, Filipino nurses find out that they still cannot practice their profession without undergoing a series of examinations, including possible re-schooling, if they fail the tests or if they have not practiced their profession for the last five years.
Taking these exams or, worse being told to retake a nursing education, costs a lot in Canada, Santiago explains. “And because most of them prioritize their family back in the Philippines or would rather first send for their families to Canada, majority eventually end up becoming permanent caregivers or discriminated as low-wage workers,” she adds.
This is in stark contrast to the acute shortage of nurses in this country where since 1998 hospitals have been reported closing due to a crisis in the supply of professional nurses.
There can be many more Filipino nurses working as caregivers in Canada. In 2000, out of 2,780 people who entered Canada through the LCP that year, more than 2,000 were Filipinos many of them nurses, according to Immigration Canada.
A social problem
AHW’s Manuel comments that the often-recurring brain drain phenomenon along with labor migration “is really a social problem.”
With the average salary of a nurse in the country (at P5,000 a month) 43 times lower than that for a nursing aide in the US (at $18 per hour) or 17 times lower that earned by a caregiver in Ontario, Canada (at $7.85 per hour), it is not hard to understand why Filipino nurses, doctors and other professionals are leaving the country by more than 10,000 annually.
Students in one caregiver school in Manila cite “economic necessity” as the number one reason for seeking caregiving jobs abroad.
“Kapag hindi daw sila nakaalis, hindi makakapag-aral ang mga anak nila” (Their children cannot go to school if they can’t work abroad), says Annie Pardines, one of the owners of a caregiver school in Manila, quoting her students who are mostly breadwinners of their family.
She adds their other students are disgusted over the way things are happening in the country, “with widespread corruption in government and hopelessness that the economy can still improve in the country.” With Miriam Anzurin, PMC Reports/Reposted by Bulatlat.com

2006-09-20T13:49:00.000+08:00

http://www.ritm.gov.ph/report.htm

Vaccine Self Sufficiency Project

Introduction:

In the Philippines, diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis, measles and Hepatitis B are associated with high rates of illnesses and deaths in infants and children. These diseases can be prevented if significant proportion of the population is immunized. For example, polio is already near to global elimination phase due to successful immunization program against the poliovirus.

The Expanded Program on Immunization (EPI) of the Department of Health (DOH) provides the immunization against the above-mentioned diseases. The DOH EPI remains strong and continues to gain international recognition as a very successful program of the DOH. The coverage figures of EPI have reached more than 90% for infant vaccines and 70% for Tetanus Toxoid (TT). The success of the program can be mainly attributed to high routine immunization coverage, strong government commitment and availability of some locally produced vaccines such as Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG), an anti-tuberculosis vaccine and TT.

Recently, the success of the EPI program is being threatened by rapidly increasing vaccine requirements due to high population growth rate, high cost of imported vaccines and limited resources of the former Biologicals Production Service (BPS) of DOH to produce high quality vaccines. For example, the requirements for Hepatitis B vaccine can increase to 10 million doses by the year 2002. By this time, the projected budget of the DOH to import 8.5 million doses only of Hepatitis B vaccines is P 196,000,000.00. The total estimated budget of DOH by year 2002 to import EPI vaccines is P 694,382,000.00.

On the other hand, local production of BCG and Tetanus Toxoid vaccine has been stopped since 1995 because of the inability of the old BPS production plant to meet the requirements for Good Manufacturing Practices as imposed by WHO and the Philippines’ Bureau of Food and Drugs (BFAD). BPS used to generate a savings of P 3,840,000.00 from local production of 8 million doses of BCG per year.

With renewed trust of the Philippine Department of Health to be self-sufficient in vaccines, the BPS, now part of the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine, has started construction of new vaccine production plant. The new plant adopted cost-effective approach that will ensure compliance to current GMP.

A Research and Development facility, which is part of this project, will also help accelerate biotechnology in the Philippines that will lead to acquisition or development of new technology that will discover indigenous raw materials for local vaccine production. GMP production facilities, highly trained personnel and availability of raw materials will make our country vaccine self-sufficient in the near future. Vaccine self sufficiency is attained when we have established local production of cheap, high quality and internationally accepted vaccines for most of the requirements of the EPI programs and other vaccine preventable diseases.

Implementation Schedule of the Establishment of the GMP Vaccine Production Facilities:
Phase I. The total budget appropriated by Philippine government to complete Phase I was P430,000,000.00. Seventeen million pesos (P17,000,000.00) appropriated for tax was included in year 2001 budget. Phase I is scheduled to be completed by July 15, 2000. The biotech plant was contracted by Pharmadule in Sweden.
Pharmadule is the only company that can design, construct and deliver GMP vaccine products without the risk of system mismatch, which is high in conventional construction approach. Pharmadule approach assured us of the following: attainment of self-sufficiency in vaccine production, acceleration of local biotechnology development and establishment of an internationally recognized vaccine production plant in the country. The plant, which include facilities for BCG and antivenin production, has been assembled in Sweden and certified for GMP compliance by Swedish Food and Drug Authority in December 2000. In January, the Plant was shipped to Manila by modules and will be reassembled at site in RITM compound.

The modules arrived at Manila Harbor by February 26, 2001 and were transported immediately to the site at RITM after customs formalities. The project has been ahead by 3 weeks of their time schedule. The Philippine Estate Authority is constructing the support facilities under the joint agreement of the Philippine government and Filinvest, using conventional approach.

Phase II. This will consist of 7 modules with complete filling line facilities and separate air handling for vaccines included in this phase. The same approach used in Phase I will be utilized in this phase to avoid system failure and to ensure compliance to GMP standard.

At this point, it is necessary to establish the National Control Laboratory for Vaccines at Bureau of Food and Drugs, Department of Health, to serve as the external quality control and assurance for all vaccines produced at RITM. It is projected that by 2004, we will be saving 30-50% of the budget appropriation for imported vaccines, thus cutting significantly the cost of immunization program.

2006-09-19T15:41:00.000+08:00

Vaccine Self Sufficiency Project

Introduction:

In the Philippines, diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis, measles and Hepatitis B are associated with high rates of illnesses and deaths in infants and children. These diseases can be prevented if significant proportion of the population is immunized. For example, polio is already near to global elimination phase due to successful immunization program against the poliovirus.

The Expanded Program on Immunization (EPI) of the Department of Health (DOH) provides the immunization against the above-mentioned diseases. The DOH EPI remains strong and continues to gain international recognition as a very successful program of the DOH. The coverage figures of EPI have reached more than 90% for infant vaccines and 70% for Tetanus Toxoid (TT). The success of the program can be mainly attributed to high routine immunization coverage, strong government commitment and availability of some locally produced vaccines such as Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG), an anti-tuberculosis vaccine and TT.

Recently, the success of the EPI program is being threatened by rapidly increasing vaccine requirements due to high population growth rate, high cost of imported vaccines and limited resources of the former Biologicals Production Service (BPS) of DOH to produce high quality vaccines. For example, the requirements for Hepatitis B vaccine can increase to 10 million doses by the year 2002. By this time, the projected budget of the DOH to import 8.5 million doses only of Hepatitis B vaccines is P 196,000,000.00. The total estimated budget of DOH by year 2002 to import EPI vaccines is P 694,382,000.00.

On the other hand, local production of BCG and Tetanus Toxoid vaccine has been stopped since 1995 because of the inability of the old BPS production plant to meet the requirements for Good Manufacturing Practices as imposed by WHO and the Philippines’ Bureau of Food and Drugs (BFAD). BPS used to generate a savings of P 3,840,000.00 from local production of 8 million doses of BCG per year.

With renewed trust of the Philippine Department of Health to be self-sufficient in vaccines, the BPS, now part of the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine, has started construction of new vaccine production plant. The new plant adopted cost-effective approach that will ensure compliance to current GMP.

A Research and Development facility, which is part of this project, will also help accelerate biotechnology in the Philippines that will lead to acquisition or development of new technology that will discover indigenous raw materials for local vaccine production. GMP production facilities, highly trained personnel and availability of raw materials will make our country vaccine self-sufficient in the near future. Vaccine self sufficiency is attained when we have established local production of cheap, high quality and internationally accepted vaccines for most of the requirements of the EPI programs and other vaccine preventable diseases.

Implementation Schedule of the Establishment of the GMP Vaccine Production Facilities:

Phase I. The total budget appropriated by Philippine government to complete Phase I was P430,000,000.00. Seventeen million pesos (P17,000,000.00) appropriated for tax was included in year 2001 budget. Phase I is scheduled to be completed by July 15, 2000. The biotech plant was contracted by Pharmadule in Sweden.

Pharmadule is the only company that can design, construct and deliver GMP vaccine products without the risk of system mismatch, which is high in conventional construction approach. Pharmadule approach assured us of the following: attainment of self-sufficiency in vaccine production, acceleration of local biotechnology development and establishment of an internationally recognized vaccine production plant in the country. The plant, which include facilities for BCG and antivenin production, has been assembled in Sweden and certified for GMP compliance by Swedish Food and Drug Authority in December 2000. In January, the Plant was shipped to Manila by modules and will be reassembled at site in RITM compound.

The modules arrived at Manila Harbor by February 26, 2001 and were transported immediately to the site at RITM after customs formalities. The project has been ahead by 3 weeks of their time schedule. The Philippine Estate Authority is constructing the support facilities under the joint agreement of the Philippine government and Filinvest, using conventional approach.

Phase II. This will consist of 7 modules with complete filling line facilities and separate air handling for vaccines included in this phase. The same approach used in Phase I will be utilized in this phase to avoid system failure and to ensure compliance to GMP standard.

At this point, it is necessary to establish the National Control Laboratory for Vaccines at Bureau of Food and Drugs, Department of Health, to serve as the external quality control and assurance for all vaccines produced at RITM.

It is projected that by 2004, we will be saving 30-50% of the budget appropriation for imported vaccines, thus cutting significantly the cost of immunization program.

2006-08-21T19:02:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling good right now (emotionally). I've got all these worries running through my head. I can't stop thinking of it. i just can't. I'm all worried with my studies, my family, my friends, and everything else. I know... i worry so much.. so much that i almost cry every night. And i hate it and people misunderstood me for being such a cry baby, for being so "mababaw", for being so weird for attempting to cut my wrist (radial pulse)... Yes i've thought of commiting suicide but never did i actually do it in my entire life. I mean yes i've cut my wrist but it wasn't that worst. It's not even bleeding that much. And of course I fear God and i still wanted to live and i don't want to disappoint Him. I know i tend to escape from my problems but i still took that valiant move of turning back and facing it instead. I know I may sound so shallow when i tell my friends all my problems... so shallow coz i'm actually lying to them...i lied to them coz i don't want them to pity me... also i'm not that comfortable sharing to them my problems.. and i know they will never understand me...never. People are such damn bastards full of pretenses... they've got full of surprises, ugly surprises! When you're around, They kept on praising you, pero pag nakatalikod ka ayun, they'll make gossips of you...And oh, i hate it when people try to sympathize or empathize on me even though they don't.will you please cut it out coz whatever you do, i still won't believe on you... you don't even look nor sound sincere. Sorry but i don't trust anyone! i'd rather entrust my secrets to a total stranger than to a friend who's a total betrayer... tinamaan ka ba?Sorry ah... i didn't mean to..just trying to post an entry here.."bato bato sa langit and tamaan wag magagalit."

2006-08-15T20:11:00.000+08:00

mode: emo :(

feeling: unhappy, anxious

currently: crying

i feel so hopeless.. unloved.. unwanted.. and rejected.. i feel like like giving up.. i feel like dying.. i feel so unfortunate.. i'm useless.. i'm worthless.. i'm no one!

pagod na ako! ayoko na! pakiramdam ko pasan-pasan ko ang mundo.. ang hirap ipakitang masaya ka when in fact hindi..ang hirap magpanggap na kaya mo pa, kahit hindi na..gusto mong magpakatotoo pero hindi mo kaya..lahat lahat nalang ng problema nalang ay dinaramdam ko.. and the worst is, i can't even impart my sorrows to anyone.. all i did was to post an entry here in my blog.. my blog?? it's not even human!!!! para akong tanga.. talking to someone na hindi naman nag e-exist... parang IMAGINARY friend!!! I kept everything to myself.. and they don't even know how hard it is to constantly wear a smile in front of a crowd kahit na sa kaloob-looban mo ay nangingibabaw na kalungkutan.. hindi man lang nila ako maintindihan.. hindi man lang nila ako mapakinggan.. i hate this life.. i hate it!

2006-08-05T15:36:00.001+08:00

This one is my Second Paper for Philosophy...

all readers MUST comment on it!

What is Happiness for Me?

The timeless rummaging for happiness is but a slight issue to me. Such queries come and go through this inquisitive mind of mine as to why people seek for it when in fact it’s simply right under our noses, just within our reach!

Why do people continue to seek for that so-called REAL happiness? And why would they call it REAL, in the first place?

People may perceive happiness as something that is worth a fortune or beyond one’s expectation. But for me, happiness does not come from vast amounts of money, glittering jewels, nor luxurious cars. Happiness comes from simple things and simple folks like our family, friends and loved ones. These things we call “simple” are usually the ones who give big and extraordinary surprises to us. So why after those material riches when we already have the real ones, right?

For me, my God, family, friends and such minute fulfillments are what I call “my treasure” and “my happiness”. They give me that feeling of love and belongingness that not any material could offer. They mean so much to me that I can’t even replace them with any riches in this world.

If all we needed to be blissful was to take hold of everything, then why are the well-off and rich ones still feel the absence of something? In satisfying themselves, they felt emptiness within. In acquiring possessions, they lost the whole thing, and in overcoming happiness, they found themselves unhappy and discontented. What is happiness, anyway? If we could only ponder profoundly over this question, we could have realized that happiness isn’t all about the fame, wealth and glory we could grasp in this fragile existence. Happiness is something that is entirely priceless and authentic.

2006-08-05T15:36:00.000+08:00

This one is my Second Paper for Philosophy...

all readers MUST comment on it!

What is Happiness for Me?

Why do people continue to seek for that so-called REAL happiness? And why would they call it REAL, in the first place?

2006-07-31T14:13:00.000+08:00

t's funny when you find yourself Looking from the outsideI'm standing here but all I wantIs to be over thereWhy did I let myself believeMiracles could happenCause now I have to pretend That I don't really careI thought you were my fairytaleA dream when I'm not sleepingA wish upon a starThats coming trueBut everybody else could tellThat I confused my feelings with the truthWhen there was me and youI swore I knew the melodyThat I heard you singingAnd when you smiled You made me feelLike I could sing alongBut then you went and changed the wordsNow my heart is emptyI'm only left with used-to-be'sOnce upon a songNow I know your not a fairytaleAnd dreams were meant for sleepingAnd wishes on a star Just don't come trueCause now even I tell That I confused my feelings with the truthCause I liked the viewWhen there was me and youI can't believe thatI could be so blindIt's like you were floatingWhile I was fallingAnd I didn't mindCause I liked the viewThought you felt it tooWhen there was me and you

2006-07-31T13:23:00.002+08:00

Source: http://www.lovefatedestiny.com

I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay

2006-07-31T13:23:00.001+08:00

2006-07-31T13:23:00.000+08:00

Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay
Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

2006-07-29T14:04:00.000+08:00

July 28. RD Day again! woke up at 5:30 am. still pondering the CPR procedures. took a bath. put on my uniforms. ate breakfatst and off i go! arrived at school at 7:00 am. found out my RD sched is still 5:30pm. Damn! So Me and my classmates practiced for the CPR. we waited and waited. eventually got bored... decided to watch SUKOB instead. Fortunately I still have money left... so yeah, i did come with them. about 20 of us went to Gaisano South. Cinema was still close, so we decided to play at the arcade for awhile. Me and my friends played basketball... waaahhh... 'twas really FUN. we played for a couple of times. when it was 11am, we bought movie passes for SUKOB. we seated at the PREMIER. We seated close with each other and held hands... the movie started and whoa, i love it! haha. it got me screaming til i drop..

When movie ended, went back to school. bought a pineapple juice and ate SAFARI. lol. then, i practiced for our CPR-RD. i practiced dramatizing as a first aider. at 3:30pm, went to MHS to buy a gel. went back to the room where we practiced and asked Sheyna and Mayeth to put make-up on me.. i ended up looking like a GRO.. so i got my eyeshadows rubbed off... afterwards, we went to the main building, talked for awhile and eventually went to the CR to fix our hair. i had my hair brushed up. then suddenly, someone told me that it was our turn for the RD, when in fact it was still 4:30pm!!!! i was totally cramming!!! running!!! dunno know what to do! everything i pondered and prepared for that day suddenly got washed up... but then, i got no choice but to go there and do my thing. performed it well at first! And i think i really did good at it... but later on, i had slight mistakes...and eventually turned out as a couple of mistakes... damn! i got an 83! mygosh! this isn't good! almost failed!!!! and on that day, it wasn't only me who got a low grade.. there's more! they even cried! whooo... that was really tough! didn't expect it'll turn out that way.. didn't expect it'll be a dramatic day!... but anyhow, i am contented with that grade! after all, it was my fault! there's no one to blame for that!

2006-07-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

Bad trip ako ngayon... well actually the past few days pa, and up until now... because of someone RUDE! ewan koh!! Yah i know patience is a virtue...pero when i get totally fed up.... ewan ko nalang... pasalamat xa i'm tactful enough para hindi xa patulan!!! pasalamat xa at dinadaan ko nalang sa pagmumura sa loob ng isipan ko..pasalamat xa at dinadaan ko nalang sa iyak! dahil kung hindi na talaga ako makapagpigil, masasaktan xa emotionally... hindi lang ako galit today, malungkot rin!!!! ewan ko!!! nakakaasar na xa! sobra na talaga! i can't bare this anymore! iba na talaga ang talas ng dila niya!!! kala mo kung sinong perpekto!!! hindi porke't i always smile at kengkoy ako, eh hindi ako nasasaktan... hindi porke't mahirap kami eh pwde na niya akong ismolin! hindi porke't iba religion namin eh pwde na nya kaming i-judge! sino ba xa sa akala niya!!! eh ako, kahit ganyan xa, hindi ako nakikialam! TAO rin ako!!! pwde ba???? Respeto lang hinihingi ko! Respect begets respect! Sana respetuhin mo rin ako kahit alam kong hindi naman ako karesperespeto!!! If you claim to be an educated person, matuto kang magpigil!!! wag yung padalos dalos ka nalang ng bigla! you tend to be so annoying!! kala mo ba ako lang ang galit sayo??? marami ka na ring nasaktan! remember??? proven and tested naman DIBA???? kase nga bastos ka!!!!

ako naman, i make sure na wala akong tinatapakang tao! eh siya, alam naman ng marami na may nakakaaway xa bcoz of the way she talks paminsan!!!! Ang taong yun really tends to be very JUDGMENTAL!!!! Before You judge my life, see to it na wala kang kaPunaPuna sa sarili mo!!! make sure perpekto ka! tingnan mo muna sarili mo kung malinis ka ba bago mo tingnan ang iba! bastos ka sa paningin ko! palibhasa walang nagmamahal sayo kaya ka ganyan! Diyos na bahala sayo! Ang dami ko na ngang problema sa buhay dinadagdagan mo pa.. Alam ko naman kung ano katayuan ko sa buhay compared sa katayuan nyo... just don't rub it in! wag mong idiin! alam ko!!! wag mong hayaang mapuno na ako!!! at kahit naman mangyari yun, di pa rin naman kita papatulan dahil ayokong masira ang pagkakaibigan natin (kahit unti unti na itong naglalaho!!! it turns out to be PLASTIKAN nLng)... sana ma realize mo ang mga mali mo! sana magbago ka na!!! wish ko mang masumpa ka, wag nalang! Diyos na Bahala sayo! i know God loves me!!!! He won't let me down with just a lame ass like yours! Alam mo ba... sa sobrang sakit ng mga binitawan mong salita, parang gusto ko nang mamatay!!! if ever ikwento ko kung bakit galit ako sa taong to, it may seem so babaw!!! pero if you were in my situation, sobra pa siguro ginawa niyo... marahil ay mas mag rereact pa kayo!!! maybe mas masasaktan kayo... pero ako, kahit masakit, i kept it to myself lang....ng MAHABANG panahon!!!!! grabe na pag titiis ko! pag naiisip ko yung mga sinabi niya, napapaiyak ako ng bigla kahit pinipigilan ko ng husto, pilit tumutulo luha ko... masakit nga sa lalamunan!!! basta ewan ko ba... am i just being so sensitive?? hindi naman cguro!!! reasonable naman ang pag e-emote ko!hindi naman ako magkakaganito kung walang masamang nagyari diba? alam naman ng lahat na hindi ako madaling magalit... i mean, i never show them na galit or nasasaktan ako...kaya cguro they tend to abuse me!!! nakakainis!!! God please help me!!!!!! habaan nyo pa pasenxa ko!!! make me a happier person!!! make them a better person! haaayyy!!!

2006-07-16T19:02:00.001+08:00

Please don't give me that wrong impression just by reading my entries. They may sound exaggerated and overly gushy but I'm NOT like that... I get alarmed when people see me very cheesy... yeah! CORNY??? i hate it! i don't want to be addressed like one... Puhleez!!!

2006-07-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

This One's For You! Yes YOU! Go Ahead and READ it

For those nosy, gossip-hungry people going through the ponderings of my mind, hmmm.. it's okay to come and pass by my EXTREMELY PUBLIC BLOG. After all, those are of lazy writings to be considered. They do not necessarily reflect what's inside of me. those are merely entries that shows the happy-go-lucky me! Nothing but false ideas that popped out my silly imagination! As for my avid readers, don't take it seriously... you can't tell by the way i write my entries... i am unpredictable, you know!

2006-07-16T18:24:00.000+08:00

Gwen, you're a Romantic!

Your type is the Romantic

There's no such thing as too much wining and dining! You're a sucker for theRomantic. Some flowers...a nice dinner...a little music — right up youralley! Your type places his woman on a pedestal and treats her like aprincess. That's exactly what you crave. Whether you need it or not, youlike the reassurance that a romantic guy provides. With him, you never feeltaken for granted. You don't fall for the tough-guy act — in fact, you'returned off by a guy who's not in touch with his feminine side. The sensitivemale who properly courts a woman will steal your heart every time. A littletraditional? Yup. A little old-fashioned? Maybe so. But did a little extradoting ever hurt anyone? Definitely not.

2006-07-16T13:50:00.000+08:00

WEB Tickle Test Results:

Gwen, your crush is the Class President

Hello, First Lady. A smart and motivated gal like you should set your sights high when it comes to your crush. Forget the slackers or burnouts. You should go for a guy who's got brains, ambition, and people skills (good looks wouldn't hurt either). Only an achiever and well-liked beau will be able to keep up with a first-class lass like you.A guy who's heading up the student council, spearheading a car-wash fundraiser, and winning everyone over with his charisma and charm is the right candidate for you. He's the responsible type who'll make Mom and Dad proud. And you'll feel proud when your next stop is the campaign trail or The White House!

Gwen's feedback: "The results are quite impressive kase tinamaan talaga ako...it's really me kase!"

2006-07-15T13:07:00.000+08:00

Everyone at home seems to be in paranoia. They really thought there's something going on between the two of us... when in fact there's no such thing as an "US"... We're just friends, okay! We haven't even met for a very long time. I know we're texting beyond a friendly text (as what my sister said) but there's nothing wrong with receiving an "I LOVE YOU" from a guy, right? It's nothing unusual and it's really normal for friends to say that diba? And I think i'm getting a bit paranoid too... HIS mom texted me BUT on my dad's cellphone. it says "hello gwen, this is ___'s mom. his cellphone is temporarily with me. if u have important messages for him just txt it here"... why of course, a dad who'd get to read it could definitely tell that there's something, something odd going on!!!! waaaahhh... and of course, ever since i was young, they already know that i've been crushing on him.. no queries about that! waaahhh... i'm really scared with my dad! i know he knows.. his daughter is liking someone who doesn't belong to our religioun... and i know, he strongly objects having a relationship with non-INCs... we've talked about this a couple of times, but he really says "NO!!!!"... i understand him, he's just concern about us... But anyways, the bottom line here is, THERE is NO "US"!!! i think we're both afraid to commit since his religion also forbids to commit to a non-JW... so i guess we'll just remain SPECIAL FRIENDS!!! Broken hearts! hahaha... duh?!?

2006-07-14T17:24:00.000+08:00

I have no intensions of hurting you, my friend. I like you and I love you only as a friend... no more, no less. I'm sorry... I don't know how or when will i learn to love you more than as a friend. I actually taught myself to love but it didn't last... i was just fooling myself and ended up fooling you. I am really sorry. Perhaps there's someone out there who deserves you more than i do. I know you'll find one coz you're one great guy. hope this won't ruin our friendship...

2006-07-14T14:55:00.000+08:00

I like him but he tends to be very stupid! nakakainis xa! imagine, magcheCHANGE ng phone number on the day that we're supposed to meet! hello! pano kita matetext kung bago number? di ko pa naman alam kung pano makapunta sa place na pagmeMEETan natin! dapat nga sunduin mo ako dun sa skul namin or kahit sa may kanto man lang... or cguro dapat nag text ka sakin the night before tayo magmeet para man lang di na ako malito! mataas na sana puntos mo sa'kin kaya lang nasira on our day! hahaha... ummm kung sa bagay, baka rin naman i kept you waiting (if you did wait)... waiting for nothing....worried rin lang ako kase baka akala mo inINDIAN kita, eh i didnt do it on purpose... di ko lang talaga alam kung anong oras at kung saan! kasalanan mo rin kase... bat kase di kahapon nagtext.. at bat kase nagchange ng SIM today. bat rin kase wala akong cellphone!!! kakainis naman! hayaan mo, babawi nalang ako sayo sa INTRAMS namin... ipapakilala kita sa mga friends ko... waaahhh.. sana nga lang i'll have the guts para yayain ka! haay nakoo.. di mo lang alam kung gano ako kaWorried kanina kung pano kita matetext.. di mo lang alam kung gano ako kaWorried na baka mabasa ni ate yung tinitext mo.. Worried ako kase akala nila TAYO na, eh hindi naman! magkaibigan lang naman tayo, in the first place. At worried ako dahil kay ate ka nagtetext na magkikita tayo today... baka akala nun natuloy tayo sa gimick nating hindi rin naman gimick ang tawag! eh hindi naman!!! kaw kase!!!!! nakakainis ka... oh well, sa bagay, hindi rin naman ako handang makipagmeet sayo ngayon kase hindi man lang ako nakapag ayos or what... buti na rin lang yun.. hmmm next week nalang or next next week!!! kawawa ka naman..baka pinaghintay kita! sorry nalang talaga kanina! basta tccicailu... alam mo na meaning nyan..hahaha.. isa pa hindi ka rin naman makakabasa nito!!! wahahahaha... assuming lang gud ui!!!!

2006-07-13T18:15:00.000+08:00

naiinis ako sa mga taong maniac at sexually preoccupied.. kala mo kung sinong magaling sa sex na halos ipagsigawang may lamang CONDOM ang wallet nila.. halos ipagsigawang bibili ng CONDOM para mapatunayang hindi na sila virgin at magaling sila sa mga ganyang bagay. Kala mo kung sinog gwapo eh ubod naman ng *&!@$#% never mind!!! mapapatanong ka nalang ng bigla kung totoo nga ba o nag hahallucinate lang siya... bulag at baliw lang ang papatol sa lalaking ganun! ang corny corny pa, nagprepretend na nahihiya, yun pala gusto. tapos maghuhubad ng tshirt sa harap ng maraming tao, kala mo kung sinong MACHO gwapito, ah hindi naman..ubod nga ng payat, parang palito! wala namang ka abs2x ang tao! at talagang may guts syang magpa display ng katawan nyang walang laman ha! kala niya tutulo laway namin? yucks! ano kami, HILO? hindi noh!

2006-07-13T12:57:00.000+08:00

*[[psst! hoi popoy, wag na wag kang bumisita dito sa blog ko! kapag nalaman kong binabasa mo mga entries ko, patay ka sa 'kin! (at patay rin me sayo, huhu!). bawal ang mga entruders dito especially YOU! you are BANNED in this blog! hehe.]]*

anyways, kilig na kilig ako yesterday, kase we texted again! wakekekek! kilig na kilig ang lola! exams na baya next week tapos grabe akong pamiga! oh well, tama lang yan, pampaswerte sabay prayers to God diba? hahaha.. basta. feeling ko, ummm may pag-asa ako (hehe..ako pa jud naay pag-asa..kaluoy!!) basta nararamdaman ko..hehehe charmus.. joke lang. igat man sad diay to xa ui.. akala ko demure na lalake, may tinatago palang pagka aggressive ng konti..hehehe.. hoi ayaw lagi basa diri POPOY! ayyyppp!!!! bantay lang jud ka! suntok talaga aabutin mo pag nagkita tayo.. hehehe..

2006-07-11T19:51:00.000+08:00

another boredom strikes me again!

No classes on thursday and friday, hurray! hope i'll have fun and make the most out of the worst... hope i could get hold of the bliss i've been longing to have, to bring back the happiness and the genuine laughter of a self-confessed hypocrite... wishing i could bump into him and finally take the stake to make a valiant conversation with him. wishing i could forgive those whom i could hardly forgive... wish i could let the people know the hatred i had inside towards them... wish i could still carry out the happiness and grin widely as possible.. wish i could be the real me.. wish i could be someone else rather than me.. haha..

hala ka ui! char-char lang ni na post ha.. haha.. wala lang!!! wakekekeke.. gimingaw lang ko mamiga!!! hahaha.. musta naman akong mga *keke* ui..charmus kaayo..

2006-07-10T19:32:00.000+08:00

No Classes for Thursday and Friday since it's Brokenshire's Foundation day! Hurray! Sana i could invite him to come or he could invite me in their school. wala lang. Miss ko na c Popoy!

2006-07-08T14:04:00.000+08:00

I'm finished with my RD!!!! yipeee.. so happy ako. di nyo lang alam pero para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan. Now i could finally relax..hahay.. sarap matulog! Thanks nga pala kay Ma'am Lucy Ring, LOVE HER, LOVE HER.... i love our CI. ang bait!!!!!! and of course thanks to GOD.. MWAH!!

2006-07-07T16:37:00.001+08:00

I'm planning to change my blog layout as soon as sooner. haha. dunno. if there's a vast spare time, why not? i'm planning to make a logo something about GOD... basta. often times kase i give much significance to my feelings in making a layout rather than my spiritual being. now i'm thinking of making it more wholesome. Also i wanna thank God for all the things He has done to me. basta. ewan kung kelan. after RD and everything else nalang siguro.

2006-07-07T16:37:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is gonna be another RD day. amf. kinda nervous and excited at the same time. hope i won't be too overwhelmed with these feelings since i tend to get mentally blocked. But of course i prayed to God to give me that presence of mind, knowledge and wisdom to answer questions, and self-confidence and to get a grade of 90+. yun lang. busy busyhan daw muna ako! bye my precious blog... mwah!

2006-07-04T18:09:00.000+08:00

Assuming today was Friday, June 30. haha. hmm... we texted for like 5 hours and so, but of course that includes the effort to borrow cellphones from my classmates at school and all the way home again from my sister's. So yeah we texted all night. almost forgot to sleep early since i was consistently sleeping for just 5 hours everyday. But his presence peculiarly makes me nocturnal all of the sudden. Lol. Anyways, we talked about lots of stuff and eventually he asked me if i was mad at him or something... i said i wasn't. but he insisted. so i thought, "hmm, OKAY fine, i'm mad na!" He believed that i was, so he wanted to make "bawi" for me. He thought of asking me out. I know what you were thinking right now!!! is it a DATE??? nah! nope. (sayang nga eh..haha) I don't know what's the exact term for that but he invited me to their school.. just a tour!!! waaaahh.. kainis noh? sige nalang tour. sa PhilSci, TOUR. sa Usp, TOUR pa rin!!!! sus! kung pwde nga lang ako magyaya at gumastos eh, i'd most likely do it... pero ako naman maxadong malixosa, it's a friendly tour lang!!!! Wala lang yun sa kanya..hehe.. eh ako tong jokla maxado, super jugi na kahit sa'ng sulok ng mundo, pupuntahan at pupuntahan xa! haha. yah i know!!! i should not let myself fall for those guys who were filled with promises and sugar-coated words na parang cotton candy at hersheys na may halong toblerone at snickers...sarap nun ah! hehe.. ah basta.. the friendship must remain. we should stay friends!!!!! sigh*

2006-06-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

Just droppin' by the Elab to post this entry. know what? i saw him today! nothing really changed . still the same guy i knew. also, he replied to my LATIN text messages and that started our small conversation..Lol. ewan. there's really soething on his text messages that make me feel that tingling-sensation. haha. Last night i suddenly became nocturnal when i received a reply from him. Waaah. And that made me awake for the whole night. That was also very much beneficial on my part since i got to stay up late and i was able to finish my RLE homework and studied a bit in HC Lec. hmmm... i really prayed for this guy huh! i prayed for us to become best of friends. dunno! was it answeres? or was left hanging?

2006-06-25T18:20:00.000+08:00

OMG. this is really so alarming na! I think i like my ******... di pwde noh!!! basta di pwde sabihin dito kase baka due to unavoidable circumstances ah ma open niya blog ko tapos mabasa niya ang ka wirdohan ng ****** niya.waaaahhh.. sayang naman.. bat naging ****** ko pa xa! type ko pa naman kase matalino rin!!! my gosh!!! kung nagkataon......matitipuhan rin xa ng parents ko!!! waaaaahhhh... sayang.. baka magka hemophilia kase!!!!

2006-06-14T19:59:00.000+08:00

today i thought i'd totally be used up and drained both mentally and physically, but i was wrong. eh kasi naman, classes starts at 8am tapos dismissal is 7pm. kaya sabi ko "ay grabe i'm sure kapoi me maxado nyan"... Major kase first subject kaya expect ko na ang unexpected..tapos we had long long vacant hours ..wala kaming ginawa kundi mag tunganga or punta library doing research..punta cashier para magbayad ..punta auxillary services for claiming books tapos chika ulit..yun! grabe.. tapos nung nalaman naming last subject namin was Philo, anticipate na naming BORING! pero again, mali kami.. ayun suppppeeerrr nag enjoy ako kahit papano..somehow na pawi yung gutom, and sakit sa mga kasu kasuhan.. nawala lahat ng sakit ng katawan ko..hahah ..ang saya saya talaga!!!! kaso, nung na dismiss na kami, super ihing-ihi talaga ako eh umaambon na, kaya tiniis ko nalang hanggang dito sa bahay.. haaaaayyy sa wakas... ang sarap ng feeling...

2006-06-13T19:29:00.000+08:00

i think i need to be serious with my studies now ssince NURSING is the path i chose. buti kung IT or HRM lang yan na super sisiw noh! eh NURSING yan. mahal ang tuition.. mahal ang books.. mahal ang allowance.. everything is soooo expensive. of course no pain no gain. in order to succeed, i should strive harder and exert more effort every year... eh sophomore na me, kaya i should study na cguro especially because wala na c towkielicious (yvette).. hindi na kami dapat mag depend sa ibang tao. i should learn to avoid CHEATING as much as possible. haay naku! tsaka nawawalan na rin ako ng gana sa mga lalake.. parang pinagsawaan ko na sila.. tsaka na trauma na ako.. baka lokohin at bolahin rin ako diba? mahirap na! tapos nursing pa jud me, baka i-take advantage yung future profession ko diba?? akala nila mapera yung mga nurse or what.. tsaka i'm still very young pa naman to look for that guy. di naman ako super pangit para maghabol. gusto ko ako yung hinahabol..(parang aso) hmm.. basta til here.. gawa muna me ng assignment! HC1 pa bukas.. haay i'm using the dialect na naman!!! sorry tinatamad akong mag english ngayon eh! tatah!

2006-06-08T20:02:00.000+08:00

i'm happy being a single but i do entertain suitors (as if???) hahaha. nah, just kidding. i'll probably have a serious boyfriend when i reach 25 or so, since my parents are both really strick; my course is really EXPENSIVE (5,000+/month excluding my allowance, books and other requirements); i still have dreams( becoming rich/ almost rich); i'm still looking for that smart, religious, responsible and traditional man (and not a lustful guy full of pretenses); i'm still too naive to handle such relationship (i even act childishly at school); i don't even know how to cook (i'm the worst cook you'll ever know); i had a trauma on guys based on someone's experience... etc. Lol. I've got a lot of things to do, errands to finish and missions to accomplish. i don't wanna hurt someone and i don't wanna hurt myself either. i don't want anyone to be a nuisance to my dreams and i don't want to wreck anyones dream just because of me. They could be my best friends and who knows, that best friend could actually make a good lover, SOMEDAY! you will only need to wait... wait... wait... haha! We don't have to hurry... Boyfriend/girlfriend stuff shouldn't be rushed, there's plenty of 'em. And besides, that's what mom and dad taught me... i was totally brain-washed by them. Everyday, every hour, almost every sec, they reprimand us about the consequences when you fall in love and have a boyfriend. When you fall for those sugar-coated lines, the girl gets completely mesmerized by the guy, she'll do anything and give everything to him, even her heart and soul (even virginity :p). And when it reaches to that point, the girl gets preggy, guy escapes for his responsibilities; girl gets hurt and runs back to her real family; family comforts her and will be the one who will raise and support the child. Or if not, even if you two are both financially stable, that does not necessarily mean that you're going to live life harmoniously... you should be responsible, loving, caring, undertanding enough. Easy to say you have it but hard to do. I know it sounds funny to think soooo pesimistic but it is true!

2006-06-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

i happened to open my YM account last night and i was really surprised to see 3 offline messages from Yvette Clavano. It says:

yvette clavano (6/2/2006 6:15:57 PM): bye2x gwena, dili na gud ta clsm8..

yvette clavano (6/2/2006 6:16:01 PM): section b na gud ko

yvette clavano (6/2/2006 6:16:03 PM): huhuhuhu

At first,i really thought it was just a simple prank, but as soon as i texted her this morning, she told me the same thing. Perhaps it's TRUE! but why??? why her?? of all people who could (should) be parted from the section A, why did it have to be my friend? I know she's one heck of a geek but she's pretty(?), funny and smart. I don't want her to go! I want her to stay til we finish College...Please let her stay!!!

2006-06-03T15:21:00.000+08:00

two days ago, i signed up to BlogSkins.com as a blog skin contributor and so i did. And again, the passion for blog designing fervently runs into my nerves and eventually got hooked up with my PC. I guess staying up for almost a day working in front of the computer is quite an evident to consider it as "being hooked up" as if there was this some sort of adhesion between us (PC and me). Geez :p So anyways, i did submitted 3 skins to BlogSkins and from the scale of 1-5, some rated my work as perfect 5.00 and some gave me a 4.50 . Not bad for a novice like me (huh?) who doesn't really have any formal tutorials about webpage designing. My co-designers in BlogSkins were undeniably competitive and in fact they were from Technology-based countries (whatever you'd prefer to call those!) like Singapore, China, Taiwan, Japan, etc. I mean, we all know that they are good at it and are way much better than i am. Unlike mine, theirs are of truly adorable and could have more downloads from bloggers. And just becoming a part of the BlogSkins contributor and be rated by my co-designers with a 5.00 is truly an honor (gushy!!!) and is really a big big deal for me!!! (pagpaxenxahan nyo na!) It somehow gave me a slight perkiness and encouragement to make better SKINS. Lol.

I think that'll be for now. It's late already and of course i'm still up behaving like a nocturnal geek. Lol. gotta go!

2006-05-26T14:53:00.000+08:00

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your French Name is:

Mélanie Michaud

What's Your French Name?

2006-05-26T14:35:00.000+08:00

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

2006-05-26T14:17:00.000+08:00

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have many true loves.

You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.

You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your Dating Purity Score: 90%

You are an innocent dater.
You're either lacking in dating experience or have had a long serious relationship.
Either way, there's still plenty of fish in the sea out there for you to sample!

Dating Purity Test

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer:

Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.
Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!

Why a Cancer will love you:

You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.
A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

2006-05-24T19:46:00.002+08:00

i took this TICKLE TEST "What Type of Flirt are You?"

Here is the result:

Gwen Sarmiento, you're a Smooth!

Hey there, slick! We think it's pretty safe to say that you're a Smooth Flirt. You've got all the right moves, and you're confident that your target will appreciate all your winks and smiles. All it takes is the perfect line, right? Maybe so, as long as you deliver it with your charm meter set to "stun." Your flirting style is the perfect mix of body language and pure animal magnetism. With you on their trail, how can your prey possibly hope to get away? Seduction is inevitable. Just make sure not to overdo it. There's something to be said for simple, direct conversation. Your way with words and smooth moves guarantee that you'll hit the bullseye.

2006-05-23T16:19:00.000+08:00

That feeble prank i sent to him has incredibly brought us together unnoticingly. Browsing and surfing through this truly vast web could somehow amaze me of how fate made way to manipulate us and eventually get to know bits and bits of informations from us. I valiantly tried to trick him that i barely know him but i guess i'm not good at it. Night by night i fervently go online just to chat with him and forget all those errands behind. I constantly stay up at night just to chat with him with some craps.
I guess that's what gives it a somewhat SPARK in it, even though we frequently talk about worthless things, we don't get sick with it. We still totally blend with each other.And I liked him for that, despite the great differences we have.
Soon i began to like him. but that didn't really lasted long for there was this big wall, a wall that i can't wreck nor smash up.
Soon there was this brother/sisterhood going on between the two of us and eventually that feeling was suppressed into my unconcious thought, and was kept close with a lock and key. Now, we're merely great friends, more than friends but less than lovers. And I love it this way, i guess.

2006-05-22T19:04:00.001+08:00

It really felt so disconcerting when you get to be so eager to do lots of stuff in life and yet you can't. Why does life has to be so unjust? Why do i have to undergo such grievous disappointments and worries? all those dreams and aspirations i was pondering for a long time seemed to be null and void. I wanna get through all of these dilemma, but i don't know how. The enthusiast running through my veins almost runs out dry. All these worries wringed myself dry. I am drowned with this emptiness and soon will be wedged and loose a grip. But if ever i fall , i hope YOU (whoever you are) would grab my hand tightly and pull me up from that pitfalls of my life.

2006-05-22T19:04:00.000+08:00

*_.activities._ *

May 23 - meet up with Mark

May 24 - appointment with the dentist :p

May 26 - Medical and Dental Check up

June 01 - Enrollment

June 13 or June 26 - First Day of School (sucks!)

2006-05-19T16:41:00.000+08:00

WANTED: Dentist with cheap service :p Lolz

can you accompany me if you do know someone?

puhleez! i*m begging you :p

2006-05-19T16:32:00.000+08:00

Summer class is over. Finally i could sit back and relax! Pero, kakabakasyon ko lang today, and yet magpapa Physical Examination na this Monday! gosh! How much money do i have to spend this time? i still have to go to the dentist and get my teeth fixed. San ba mura magpaPASTA ng ngipin? Sana may 200php and below noh? can you help me? puhleez! the week after next week will be our enrollment, i guess, so i*ll be needing more or less 5000php. whew! pano na to?

2006-05-19T08:55:00.000+08:00

wow! its been a couple of days, weeks, months (?) since i last posted my entry! how do i start ba? di na ako marunong mag blog. basta daming nangyaring kakaiba. Everything was so uncanny this summer. A few weeks ago i atended this 80th birthday of my lolo and i got to meet this cute-looking guy and he is my cousing pala. ang cute ng lahi namin!!! super! take note, he is smart! he is a valedictorian for God sake! haha. my gosh what the heck is happening to me? pati cousin? haha. another strange thing that happened was falling for a friend...yah a friend. but again its infatuation, i guess. ummm, also there was a some sort of a BIG fight in our house just this week i guess. so shocking talaga kc a lot were revealed and oh i learned something from that fight. i think i posted it on my friendster blog. basta. by the way im here at school sa Internet Lab. so di maxado me makapost ng todo.. til here. ciao

2006-05-05T19:40:00.000+08:00

Summer is a bit hectic and i really dont have time to post. I ll be updating SOON!!!

2006-04-29T13:34:00.000+08:00

I can’t seem to understand why I suddenly fell for him again after hearing his voice over the phone. I wasn’t expecting this. Not until he called. When summer classes started, I wasn’t thinking of any of my guys. I was over with them already. I wasn’t even hoping nor dreaming about them. I seldom go online and chat, too.

But with that very short conversation we had, I realized how deep his voice is and how nice of him to still treat me nicely despite my faults for him.

2006-04-24T17:52:00.000+08:00

still, there were no communication between the two of us. Also, i havent seen him for a loooong time. i dunno how, where or when i could finally get to see and emrace him. the time, the distance and the absence, its killin me inside. waaahhh. the gushiness of a young woman, trully sucks! i hate me!

2006-04-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

I was up at 8 o clock in the morning, almost forgot my errand to finish our script for English 3 through my dad*s help. I was one hour late but still my group mates patiently waited for me at the Noreen building. i got to play the role of the Physician and it was quite easy since all i have to do was to blab a few things. After our rehearsal, i went to Victoria Plaza to chill out and stroll around. when i realized that it was around 12 noon already, i went home.

As soon as i got home, mom said that i should come with them. without any hesitation, i went with them along with my little sis. We attended a wedding ceremony since my mom was one of the Principal Sponsors. Afterwards, me, my sis, my dad and my mom were off to the Royal Pines Subdivision to look for some house and lots which are on sale.

Then we got home and i chenge clothes and went to church. After the congregation, went home and ate my dinner and did this entry.

That*s it!

2006-04-21T20:15:00.000+08:00

I had my RS2 and PS2 class today. I utterly find it boring and all i did was to yawn and sit still on my chair. We had a 4 1/2-hour class on PS2 and had two quizzes. We were dismissed 30 minutes earlier this afternoon so i went to the mall and meet up with my high school classmate, Michelle. Geez, I really missed her. We haven*t talk for quite a while. All we did was to window shop (lik the usual) since we do not have money and blabbed about our life. yah.

2006-04-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

My long wait is FINALLY over! (as if i really waited that long?) Our internet was back and i finally got to blog after almost a month of not updating my entries. There is a lot to be told but it would take me so long to post everything here. So hmmm.. let me think... I guess all i could say is, *Summer isnt FUN*. Well, my summer this year is most likely unusual since this is my first time to take Summer Classes. duh? It was my choice anyway. One thing I kinda regret was, i cant spend more time at home. It seems like i wont be having a vacation. waahhh...really tiring! Before i forget, i took up English 3, PS 2, and RS 2. These are all 3rd year and 4th year subjects which is most probably not appropriate!!! Lolz. Silly kid, huh? Just trippin. Til here. Bye.

2006-04-03T17:29:00.000+08:00

a long time ago, i prayed for my dad to get well. I told God that I*d rather be poor than to have my family ill at ease. I*d rather have no money kaysa makita ko silang naghihirap because of any illnesses...I guess this prayer I just uttered has finally come to its realization. My dad now was having a progress pero take a look at our wealth, it*s sinking. Our bank accounts were almost empty. Wala na rin maxadong mga clients ang dad ko. Also, may mga buyers ng mga lupa kaya lang, they*re still very picky. They havent made up their mind kaya no commissions and attorney*s fee on our part. We*ve tried every single means of having money, not to mention, we*ve called my uncles from the States to send us money. We even thought of borrowing money from our friends. Also, naisip ko rin na iprenda yung singsing ko. After all, i dont really wear them diba? As in. Gusto ko nalang iprenda yung sa akin para lang makatulong ako sa gastusin kase wala na talagang ibang paraan... I know its kinda weird why we*re striving hard from poverty when in fact my father is a lawyer. We should be fortunate enough among others. But bakit kami nagkakaganito na halos gumagapang na lang. Is this what my prayer had cost us? geez. I'd say pinaglalaruan lang kami nang panahon. When everything gets too tough, I think we should always ask for God*s guidance. Siguro He*s mad at us coz we spend money a lot. Also, i dont pray that aften na. parang tinatamad na ako kase wala naman akong dapat ipray since its vacation na. damn ang tanga ko. ang selfish ko. Haay ang daming gastusin. Enrollments, Graduation payments for kuya, Water, light and phone bills, etc. ang dami!!! how i wish makaya namin ang pag subok na to.Siguro may pagkukulang kami sa Kanya or something. God please help US.

2006-04-01T12:52:00.000+08:00

..`really hate people who would just suddenly perceive you as . . . this...that...this and that..yadda yaddah. It*s as if they really know you that well to the extent that they*d judge you in front of many people. We don*t even live and the same crib to tell me those absurdity. Even my family don*t have the prerogative to tell me such things since they dont really know what I did and what I feel. I just cant stand it why of all people, why would a friend do that to me...It really sucks a lot! geez. I like her but it seems like she*s the one who*s putting a gap between the two of us. She*s the reason why I*m starting to hate her. And so there are times that i merely tend to become very pretensive to her. hohum. I hate her. I hate myself. I hate this life. I hate everything in me. F***.

2006-03-31T19:02:00.000+08:00

Yipee! Finally I am off with this NSTP course! And finally classes are over. Too bad I wont be taking summer classes for now due to financial problems. Hopefully I could make my summer a fun and exciting one, definitely a more different one than the last summer i had last year.

2006-03-28T19:18:00.000+08:00

we had our NSTP community service at the BIHMI and so I thought that we were about to work together with the nurses and student nurses doing some mere tasks but I guess I totally misunderstood it. Lol. Guess what we did? Housekeeping!!!! For God sake!!! Geez!!! we simply cleaned the morgue, the laundry room, the garden, the basement, etc. dunoo how many areas we*ve cleaned, all I know is I munched a lot today. Ate my lunch, then I bought a bake mac, an ice cream, noodles, banana cue, avocado shake, etc. haha. Gutom talaga ako bah. Binubihos ko nalang sa KAIN ang lahat.

2006-03-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

The Exam (for Physics…oh crap)

Saturday, I was up at 5:30 am and went to school for a Physics Exam. Almost got a failing grade but I passed noh! Spent 2 hours at school and went home right away.

The Wedding …
Motif was tangerine orange. Hate the color but when I wore my gown, shit, it looked good on me! So, anyways, here*s what happened as soon as I got home.

Mom and I went to orange grove hotel since jen, the make-up artists and everybody else were there. Geez, we were almost late. When I entered to the room where they were checking-in, boy it was crammed. Everybody was all dressed up and ready, except for me. So I went to the comfort room and put on my gown. Had my make-up and my hair fixed by that gay. Damn I look good!

At the strike of 2, off we go! and headed to Panacan. Urgh! It rained. Sucks! When we arrived, we were minutes late. They were all in line ready to walk on the aisle. Mom was one of the first ones to walk since they are the Principal sponsors. Next in line were the flower girls, ring bearer, groom*s men and bride*s maids…so and so. Minister Leo Baisa was the one who officiated the wedding. the ceremony was kinda gushy since the bride and my big sister shed tears. Hohum.

After the wedding, cam whoring time!!!

Afterwards, we went to Orange Grove for the wedding Reception. Did a lot of stuff. Ate a bunch! Yumm.. did some cam whoring stuffs. Then went home. So here I am making this entry. Hopefully I could upload those pics I had in here. Someone out there who could offer me to scan my pics??? Nah!!! I*m willing to pay… pictures lang!!

2006-03-24T21:11:00.000+08:00

Classes are finally over but still we must come to school next week for our NSTP community service. The following week after the NST will be the enrollment for summer classes. Hopefully I could have one. Mom said it is not necessary for me to have summer classes so why not just stay at home. You know me, I cant stay at home and just plunge myself to boredom. I cant stay and eat up everything in the kitchen. Also I want to be busy this summer. Something like a *functioning* life this time around.

2006-03-23T19:48:00.000+08:00

Feels like heaven when you have finally conquered the anatomy subject. Good thing my groupee and I did a good job on our oral exam even though my answers were quite far-fetched. Anyhow, I got a final grade of 83 and I kinda felt disappointed. But, anyways, I expected much worse than that. I really thought my grades would eventually flunk below the ground. My quizzes were apparently failing and if there were any passing grade, it would have to be a *75*. I really did not take this one seriously since I was quite preoccupied with someone at that time. Makes me wanna quit all my fantasies since it isn’t really healthy for me and its not really helping me after all. I was fantasizing someone who doesnt really feel the same way towards me. . But it seems like God still loves me despite my sluggishness with my studies.

So much for that absurdity, I just wanna tell you that I am through with him. I don’t even miss him like I usually do when we don’t chat. This time, I mean it, that’s for sure. I think my attention was diverted with my studies since I have been very busy with it. Yeah! Im making the best out of it. But, if ever you ll hear me blabbing about love or something mushy, it wouldnt be him. It would be someone different. Haha. Yup, I think Ive been crushing for someone else. I*ll update about that as soon as sooner!

2006-03-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

I know this isnt the right time for me to blog since tomorrow will be our final exams but i cant help it, my brother was able to fix it and boy was i delighted to know that those malwares and spywares (whatsoever) were gone. So, kinda sneaked while brother was watching Tv and here i am. Yes i know, am too lazy to study. BTW, i slept 3 times today and this is why i cannot sleep tonight. haha. oh boy that was such an accomplishment. hehe. Its what i really need nowadays, a lot of dose of sleep. yeah. yesterday was our holy supper and i got to attend it twice. haha. i was actually finished at around 7:30am but i was tasked (along with bro. manego) to get the pandesal for my dad and a few others. As soon as i got back to church, mom left me (she actually said we d go home together) without any money or what. It was almost *panata* for the next *holy supper (9:30am) so bro. manego cannot drive me home (and of course i have no money) so i stayed in the car and listen and kinda sang along with the church choir inside the church. (really stupid of me). So yeah i waited for 2 hours for my sister to get dressed up (since she s a choir member) and went home with her. Luckily i saw my ever dearest crush, Elouie, in a distance when we were about to get in the taxi. he was wearing an undershirt with his black pants, really looking neat (geez he looked so fresh). haha. Anyways, i had my holy supper at 5:30am. I got to pray and pray and repent for my sins. It was quite a relief and felt at ease for bursting out all those grim thoughts, emotions, feelings and sorrows to God. I must say, i really am lucky to have Him. someone to share all my problems and all the hahaays of my life.

(change topic)

Also i got to see my crush.haha. so cute. Elouie. i think i really like him na. haha. para kang tanga gwen. Sana bernard could take a picture of him. I know you can do it berns. hope youd get to read this. haha. i know you will. i guess im too sick of the other guy already. you know who he is. the nerdy one. Elouie, this time, a quiet one, more mysterious, more handsome, also witty, mestizo, an INC, a choir member and ummm un lang perhaps. kaya lang, these are the negative features: not tall, naive about love thingy, dunno about him... ayun! i dont want a piece of him... i want the whole thing, okay. haha. para akong rapist nito!!!! haha. sana dinggin ni bernie boy ang aking hinaing. i know ikaw lang ang may capability of taking his pic :p ano ba yun? chige na gud berns!!! puhleez. this summer, mag concentrate ako kay elouie, nyahhaha!!!

2006-03-17T20:09:00.000+08:00

im chatting, blogging and studying, all at the same time. im really practicing to do multi-tasking nowadays since i barely get to do some stuffs for myself and my family. tomorrow would be a holy event for us INCs coz its our *holy supper and i really want everything to be ummm very well-organized (if thats the right word for it). monday will be our exams but still i dont have that fucking permit thing*. boy was i surprised that our clearances were still pending in the dean*s office. sort of ridiculous when it comes to signing, or shall i say, stupid? haay ewan. busy busy busy. cant wait for our NSTP graduation. cant wait for summer classes. cant wait for summer outings (if there is). cant wait for everything about summer!!!!

2006-03-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

omigosh. life is really unpredictable. you wont know what fate might brought you. a blink or two, a lot might happen. geez. that scares me a lot!

i just attended our church congregation this afternoon (2:45 pm) and the officiating minister was Bro. Ocampo. Really love the way he preaches. (and also a few other ministers..love em* :p) He made me cry.. *huhu...i know it sounds quite mushy but ministers who gets into my nerves and touches the emotional side of me, it really impresses me, a lot. I hardly cry you know. I just realized how fortunate I am to be alive and have a God and family like mine. We re not rich but we re spiritually-strengthenized. (*winx) i just wish that this world we live in would just end. (*I know it sounds cruel) Oh well, dunno! til here na lang. buh bye :p

2006-03-15T17:59:00.000+08:00

Cant think of any notable event this week eh...ummm oh well, my group and I just finished our research defense and that was a big relif on my part since I was really terrified with our panilist. Also, we just had 3 quizzes for Anatomy today excluding the Lab quizzes. We had 2 quizzes for the Lab, 1 for a group quiz and the other was for the individual quiz. All in all, we had 5 quizzes for only one subject. Clearance signing is what keeps me hectic this past few days. I havent paid my tuition yet which really bothers me a lot since my friends are done with it. Poor me! I havent submitted a 2 x 2 picture for that yellow thingy form so i cut my graduation pic but it was too small (like 1 x 1 ) so my clearance wasnt signed for the registrar. Shit! So i have decided to take a pic of me through my friends phone. So i did. The bad thing is, tomorrow would have to be a non working holiday which means *no school*. Fuck. I have to go to school this Friday!! oh crap!

2006-03-12T08:57:00.000+08:00

The most strenuous week is finally over and the good thing is it was worth the sleepless nights, the tears, and the effort. Me and Vanessa are almost done with our Porfolio and Im done with my RD and quite lucky for having a grade of 93.8. haha really surprised with that grade coz I didn’t expect to to have a higher score since ive performed the most ridiculous RD ever… I didn’t established any bit of kindness with brushing my client*s teeth, I wasn’t organized (like id throw the towels and paraphernalias elsewhere), and I was only guessing my answers. God must have really pitied me coz I really prayed for the whole week for this. Anyways, I cant wait for that summer break, or shalt I say, summer class? Lol. Either of the two, but most probably Id choose to have a summer class, rather than staying at home and do nothing. Also, I have decided to carry on with the career I chose (or the people chose) for me. I think I will most probably stick to this unless my uncle (whose going home this April from NY to attend my brother*s grad) persuades me to stop my stupid ambition and get a hell out of it. Haay. They are really odd sometimes. Theyre the ones making decisions for me. Its my choice and not one or two can stop me from doing it. Hehe. Ewan!

2006-03-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

*Still up right now, making our final requirements forFilipino. experiencing back pain again. amf!

*I'm still thinking whether i'll shift to another course or rather remain in this nursing pretensions. dunno really. Also upset with all the requirements given to us which were piled up and is all due this week. fuck! haay!

* Everything is just so mushy about me. I really hate it when I'm crushing on someone who doesnt love me back at all. I tried to forget and repress him to my unconscious memory but those feelings kept on coming back whenever he is around. waaa. I hate him coz he*s making fun of me, i know he is. Im just so stupid why of all people, why him? of all guys i could fall for, why that numb and insensitive one? I hate myself for still hoping that those silly fairytales do actually happen. I dont wanna hope for something impossible.i dont!!!! Shit! Shit. Shit! we re too much different!!!

2006-03-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

Another update, just a follow up to that post i just had. This is about YOU again. Yes im referring to YOU. YOU loved that feeling and must have did that on purpose because of that too much curiosity you had to that world of lust. Im not really harsh in giving advices but the last post i had might sounded a bit sarcastic, so im sorry. Actually, the thing you did was not so bad. The bottom line is you dont have any commitment with each other. basta!!! di ko ma explain.

2006-03-03T20:41:00.000+08:00

Im currently working with my RD memorization and absurdly whining with it since im quite traumatized with my past RD grade. Lol. It was an 81, almost failed. But hey, i got an 88 for both NCM and RLE for the Midterm so it must be a good job, huh? Still i want to impress our CI. Well, not totally to impress her, huh, i just wanna show her that i can do it. Talagang Sumablay lang ako sa Vital Signs. And i admit i was not prepared with that RD since i dont have a complete paraphernalia and really got myself totally blocked. Part of it was my fault and a tinny bitty part is because of our CI. Lol. I want everything to be perfect this coming Saturday, March 11. Just wanna relax and ponder everything..

Anyhow, i swore not to post anything about that unmentionable someone but ummmm... nothing. So that would remain as a promise. Hopefully an unbreakable one!

BTW today is Berns birthday... Happy Birthday Berns. He said something to me last night and really got me shocked. I thought he was a ummm faithful one to his ummm but ummm you know... Oh well, i barely know him well and i dont have the prerogative to ummm somewhat criticize his acts... immoral acts??? so might as well keep my mouth shut? haha i cant!!!! Whoa those are of obvious and crystal clear, it was disgusting, berns! Sorry to tell this in a public blog (anyways, nobodys visiting this) but you see, acts like those stuff shouldnt be done because of the mere fact that you are a CHRISTIAN, and you have disappointed and will be disappointing a lot of people (especially her).. Now, i know...haha... You were just showing that *false impression* just to win her, when in fact you were that guy whom i addressed as M****C...haha...just kidding. hope i did not offend you. Just giving a healthy advice for an online buddy..haha.. Here*s what, hold on with those lustful senses and if possible kindly repress those to your unconscious memory or else your future will be **wrecked**!!! (far-fetched??).

2006-02-25T14:01:00.000+08:00

If only I could turn back time (Lol. Sounds like a song to me), then I could be free again… free from those grieves and worries. Its nice to look back at those old memories… memories I had in my HS life. Nothing compares the fun and excitement it brought me…nothing! All I did was to play and play. I got stumbled but still, I stood up. College? Still fun. but not as fun as HS. Youll truly miss it. I*ll have to muster all those happy thoughts again just to bring back the happiness within me.

Lol. A dramatic intro, huh? Nah!!! To tell you the *honest truth*, I wish to be with my old friends again. Well, my best friend told me she has this cyst in her breast that has to undergo a surgery. Also, she has this disorder in her *ovary thingy*, Im not too certain for that (whatta stupid nursing student, huh?) but i know shes not in good condition right now. I think all I could offer is prayer coz I cannot see her that often since we*re both busy with the nursing stuff. But i*ll see to it that she*ll be included in my prayers.

2006-02-24T18:49:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 5:45am, took a bath and put on my uniform. Went to school at 7:10 am...had an enrichment class, thats it! Nothing so unusual happened today except that ummm I watched a movie, the Memoirs of Geisha. I got home at about 5pm. I went online at 6:30pm. Afterwards, Yvette told me to make our research paper... well, part of it. And I dunno how and where to start? Waahhh. Sigh.

2006-02-23T16:30:00.000+08:00

It was only two days and two nights but it seems like theyve been away for like a week. I really missed my mom, dad and of course, my little sis. I miss the noise at home whenever Im studying, the nagger mom, and the ever hilarious lil sis. They often annoy me at home but i realized that i could somehow miss them pala. haha. Today, they arrived at about 1am leaving me awake. (since i have been studying for our anatomy exam). They brought a lot of pasalubong and some yadda yadda stuffs. haha. tiL here... i have to go to church! ciao!

2006-02-23T15:57:00.000+08:00

To my dear friend, Ylyssa Valdevieso:

Just wanna clarify things up. Im not addicted to him, ANYMORE. I tried to unhooked myself from him and thats for sure. I also tried to prevent myself from posting blog entries about him. (and yet I still am posting just for YOU). I thought of it as an absurdity to think of him like theres no life without him. I know Ive been so stupid crushing on him like theres no other guy out there who could be much more appreciated than him. And I know it was so wrong to think of him as a guy who is too ideal even thought he s NOT. He claims to be a SHIT so let him be. He s now a shit for me. And besides, Im striving to become a more insensitive individual with regards to *GUY* stuffs. Im really into my studies right now. So please, don’t call me an ADDICT. And don't tell him everything about this. But If you already did, please bawiin mo… Please! Lol. Ewan ui!!!

2006-02-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

Ladidum ladidadah… just goofing around trying to post an entry for the entire week I had. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

Thursday, February16, Day 1 (Karilyo)

I woke up at 4 am and took a bath and dressed up for church. My top was my blouse (brokenshire) and the bottom was a green skirt (no choice but to look awfully ridiculous). But who cares? I go to church to worship God and not because of anything else. (particularly a fashion icon or a “kikay” thingy… duh??? I am definitely not!!!). So back to where I was, I did this because we d spending our spare time dubbing and making the pathetic props needed in our *karilyo*. The venue? Well, of course, the Sarmiento residence? Yeah, you heard it right. It sucks. I have to feed them… all 11 of them. Funny coz most of them have never been to Buhangin since theyre all from faraway places (Isulan, Marvel, Digos, Banga)so we took 3 taxis and we were like a convoy and all the yadda yaddah stuffs. We didn’t finished recording and making the props so we called it a day.

Friday, February 17, Day 2 (Karilyo)

Two of my group mates said that we should recreate the props again coz its too big compared to the others and the dubbing didn’t turned out well. They also suggested to buy a recorder since they don’t like the echoing sound of the microphone. Right then, abstract thoughts were wondering on my mind like I wanna hit their heads on the wall. I don’t understand why they keep on whining making the impossible a possible one. Fuck! They really thought we could make it that easy, huh??? As if they contributed a LOT in the process. As if they were the ones who really exerted a lot of effort on it. When in fact, they were just texting and operating the sound system. That really annoyed me a lot!

So, when we got at our house, we still continued making the props. But I was surprised when they told me that they really bought a RECORDER (as if we were informed!!!). Fuck again. Me, along with my other group mates thought of not paying the two dickheads. Besides, it didn’t work well. It was broken!!! Haha. Still, they have no choice but to use the microphones and our sound system. Theyre apparently stupid. My gosh! We finished everything around 10pm, I guess. We were so exhausted and so call it a break.

Saturday, February 18, Day 3 (Karilyo).

We decided to meet at school at 1 pm, so we did. It was raining and when I eventually got there, they weren’t ready. I really thought, they would initiate to bring a cassette player or any white cloth but they didn’t. Duh? Who is supposed to do all these? Isn’t these a *GROUP* activity? Then why don’t I sense any occurrence of unity? So, I did my part, along with my friends, Sheyna and Mayeth, we borrowed a cassette player at the canteen. We used our so-called *kamandag* to the kusineros and they let us borrow it. They asked a condition from us just to pay them back for their good deed… and it was a phone number from any among us. But we were too clever to fall for it. Lol.

Monday, February 20, Day 4 (Karilyo)

Now this is what I call too much stupidity to spend so much time on a minor subject! Why do we have to fight for this group presentation which is only equivalent to our Prefinal Exam grade? Wahas! We had a slight conflict regarding that RECORDER thingy coz it was really useless but they want us to contribute for it. Duh? We didn’t ask you to buy it. It was your idea not ours. And now you re telling me and Mhaya that we don’t care about our presentation??? Let me quote what she said “ Wala man gud mo pakialam sa atong group!!!”… Bullshit! Walang pakialam??? Where did we make the props and the recording? Who provided your snacks? Who provided the microphone? Who were the ones who helped in making the props? Who was the dubber? US… Is that what you call “walang pakialam” ? Shut Up!!! Me, Mhaya, Mayeth and Sheyna were kinda busting out our anger that day. So we decided to backstab them up. Lolz. Around 7:00 pm, we practiced at Winston’s boarding house. Thanks Wins! I really am grateful for him to let us rehearse there despite the smallness in space. Then, he was really humbling himself and I really find him great for that. I really like people who humble themselves. Haha. Anyways, we finished everything at 8:30pm and I got home at around 9:00pm.

Still had time to study for the exams.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Wednesday, February 23, Wednesday ( Anatomy Preparation)

Got home from school at 4:30 pm. Started studying for Anatomy Exam tomorrow. Prior to that, i cooked *cream of wheat* and munched. Afterwards, i began studying. But then my tummy still wasnt satisfied with it so i boiled an egg and munched for the second time. Then, i went back to study again. Later, ate Ephine brought Lechon Manok so i decided to eat again. Then, i went back to studying. The coverage for the exam was only 3 chapters. Sounds easy huh? But it took me hours to finish everything. Actually not Everything!!! i started 4:30pm and ended like 1am and still wasnt finish. So i decided to sleep. The funny thing was, i was still memorizing the neuronal pathway even if i was asleep. Thats how great it is to be cramming on the eve of the exam. So mom and dad arrived from Cagayan at 1:30 am so i woke up again. at 2am, my little sister was still ecstatic after the travel she had. She wanted to watch Barbie and the Nutcracker so i let her watched. Afterwards, i went to bed, finally. i realized that im not sleepy anymore but i still wanted to sleep. When i went to sleep, it was like only seconds, when i woke up... damn! Its 5 am already?? whatta!!! Time is running so fast.

Thursday, February 23, Anatomy Exam Day (This is it!)

Everyone in class were having those bulgy eyes and were really feeling so giddy. If it wasnt for anatomy, it was for playing DOTA. Geez. My guy friends were really losing hope with their Anatomy so they spent their entire night playing that DOTA stuff. The rest spend their time studying. Fortunately, i got a passing grade in our lecture exam but i failed in our Lab exam. haha. I have never passed a lab exam. As in! its way too hard to pass it nor getting a perfect score on it. Anatomy in Brokenshire is really a challenging one. Thats for sure. Our professor is from Siliman kaya. Other sections got a Doctor prof, etc. haha. Tapos yung classmate ko nung high school, sabi nya nakakuha raw xa ng PERFECT SCORE sa Lab exam. As in??? Sa bagay, UM yun eh. I am proud to say that we are one of the 2 schools in Mindanao which is LEVEL 3 accredited by PACUCOA. Ung isa is SPC. Pero, we are still better than them. Besides, theyre only good at Theory stuff and we re good at nursing skills. Tapos Top natcher sa Board exam is from Brokenshire. Regardless kung Regular Program or Special Program, mas mataas ang nakuhang average ng Brokenshire kesa Ateneo. haha. heller!!!

Yun Lang. Kapoya ui.

2006-02-18T20:11:00.000+08:00

A profound entry that might get you puzzled for a second or two.

Those are of useless thoughts and motions. Nothing really worked according to my plan and frustrations are again filling me in and hopes are spilling out. Everything just kept on coming back...everything. I must be misfortunate when it comes to those stuffs. Perhaps, life could be much easier if i didnt met the voice from my past. My life living with it was overwhelmed with astonishment and fantasies. It was an outlandish and eccentric dream but led me to an endless nightmare out of the blue. Things which i used to know once upon a dream was entirely filled with my unconscious memory. I tried to hold on with those precious memories but it fell! It fell to a hand that had a much tighter grip than mine. It never did let go... Never! And my heart, tried to have it back but it was useless.

2006-02-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

to be or not to be...that is the question. Lolz. wala lang. Char char lang yan ui. Anyways, Unti-unti nang lumalabas ang katotohanang hindi talaga kami para sa isat isa. Tomorrow, mag-uusap kami again. Bukas, mag-uusap kami. Aalamin ko ang mga bagay bagay. Haay naku, no use daw xa maging LOVER. kainis maxado xa ba. Kung kelan maraming babaeng nagmamahal sa kanya, jan pa naging Useless? ka weird nya ui. Mahal nya man kaya si shimei, then why not make any move? Torpe? My gosh... hindi halata. Yung taong yun, torpe? I don't think so. Ako gusto ko xa pero okay lang kung ligawan niya c shimei reyes. Okay lang talaga. Kaya lang, a ng di ko maintindihan, eh bakit gina claim nya na mabuting kaibigan lang xa at hindi bagay maging LOVER. whya don't he give himself a chance? its nice to fall in love and i think he desrves one. He deserves Shimei. Oo nga pala, schoolmate ko lang pala si shimei sa KTMSCES. Wala akong kilalang Shimei. Hindi rin naman kase ako friendly noon. Kung grade 6 ako nun at grade 5 c popoy, then shimei must be grade 4. Whoa? ang bata pa la. haay kainis! bat hindi ko yan kilala uii. FL rin kaya? Im sure matalino rin yun at mabait. Bat kaya ayaw pag usapan ni popoy c shimei? but infairness, biglang interested xa ha kahit pilit niyang gina deny na ayaw nyang ipa mention ang name. If i know, kinikilig yun. Kakalungkot isipin ba. Baka pala hindi ako yung crush ni popoy. Baka pala c shimei ung dinala nya sa Pisay na may kasama ring Bading and October din. Whatta coincidence. Malay mo diba. how tragic! Kung ganun man, isang napakamalaking pagkakamaling maging parte ng buhay ni popoy. Hindi ito dapat!!! Hindi tama ginagawa ko. Feeling ko tuloy, sinisira ko lang ang Lovelife ni popoy. Feeling ko, kontrabida maxado ako. haay... tama na kase gwen. Kawawa ka na maxado.hindi lang naman xa ang Matalino, religious, gentleman, talented, at gwapong lalaking dadaan sayo. Madami pa ah! Bukas, hihingi ako ng sign. Titingnan ko sa conversation namin kung may pag-asa ako o wala. haha. Kalog jud ka gwen. Weird!!!

2006-02-14T20:18:00.000+08:00

Just a follow-up to my last entry. I think i have to get over him (as if there was something between the 2 of us, noh?). I must stop thinking of him since everything isnt right. I think Im crossing the line. I shouldnt love someone like him who is over qualifed for me, who is too formal, too diligent, too serious, too righteous and too whatever else. And of course, our spirituality, its so complicated! Everything is just so FORBIDDEN. I cannot love someone who doesnt fit me entirely. THough we re two different people, haay, i still like him. ewan. Even if he s not rich, not handsome, nerdy pa jud, paloy pa jud, i liked him sooo much na para akong tanga. para na akong Stalker. See? Im a self-confessed stalker!

2006-02-14T11:56:00.000+08:00

No formal updates lately. Those are of entries which do not really make sense. I wish to spend more time with my PC but its kinda blurry and needs to be replaced with a new one. How much does a brand new monitor costs? or a brand new Computer Set, rather? I wish i have my own notebook computer or a cellphone. LoLz. I think i really need one. I guess im just sick of all the school errands. I need my therapy... my computer therapy, its my way of relaxing rather than meditating or whatsoever.

Oh, i almost forgot, today is a Valentines Day, and everybody's got a date. Wish i had one too. Oh well, its okay as long as i have my family with me ad of course my GOD. Anyways, my update is about hmmm... guess what? or guess who, rather? Janry, again! The endless blabbing of gwen, kaloka!

Ummm...wait, i'll watch GKNB first...(12:12pm)

Im back!

Yesterday, February 13, 2006, cabee and I chatted... The conversation we had was not as sweet as it was. Or shall I say, it wasnt sweet at all!!! It was as bitter as a bitter oblivion. I did not like him last night. It was as if i dont know him anymore. He has changed a lot and he doesnt sound like the happy janry i knew. He was not in the mood yesterday that all he blabbed about was their *almost imperfect prom*. He spilled out all his grim thoughts to me which really made me upset as well. I dont want to hear him dripping all those sadness with me coz he s causing me too much sorrow. I know he was just being candid with his feelings and he still managed to chat with me and made me smile despite his busyness. He knows i was disappointed with him last night coz he left me empty.

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:27:24 PM): gwen.. ...im kinda too tired na... sorry to leave u empty...

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:27:27 PM): nid to goo...

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:27:35 PM): i think im gona rest... for few hours

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:27:37 PM): den back to work

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:27:52 PM): ok lang yun ui

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:27:59 PM): thanks for chatting..and ur presence.... xnxa na.. this week maybe my badtrip week

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:28:17 PM): ok

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:28:32 PM): God Bless

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:28:38 PM): bye

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:29:43 PM): bye gwen

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:29:46 PM): nyt nyt. . . .

MY STATUS was " still a NOBODY "

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:30:09 PM): change ur STATUS... before u log out..it doesnt fit Y.O.U

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:30:26 PM): wag na

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:30:33 PM): it fits me....

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:31:55 PM): the girl hu told u that it FITS you..is NOT Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F...

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:33:08 PM): then who the heck is she if she's not me?

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:33:55 PM): one things for sure: NEWG OTNEIMRAS... ur RetroPerSonaliTy...

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:34:09 PM): God Bless... f8 it..

Afterwards, we still had a few conversations after we uttered our goodbyes.

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:47:25 PM): gwen..got to go

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:47:27 PM): nyt nyt

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:47:33 PM): God bless

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:47:36 PM): bye

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:47:44 PM): so tired

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:47:49 PM): byye

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:47:50 PM): ok sleep ka na

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:47:57 PM): bye

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:48:02 PM): gud nyt

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:49:52 PM): xoxo

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:50:45 PM): bye

gwyneth (2/13/2006 8:50:54 PM): xoxo

``cabee (2/13/2006 8:51:14 PM): aishteru amigos

These posted conversations were merely just a part of our nonsense tête-à-tête. And he stresses the phrase "aishteru amigos". Yah right, we are just FRIENDS, dont rub it in puhleez!!! it hurts a lot!!! Ouch!!!

2006-02-10T14:34:00.000+08:00

It's been 4 months since i last talked to him personally... NOT!!! That was about 7 hours ago and.... i chanced to hold his hand too. Whoa i can't believe i finally got to talk to him. He brought his mask with him and boy it was great. It really looked like a phantom mask. We chatted for like 20 minutes and off he goes with a red Pajero heading for Pisay. Prior to that, i hesitated to come near him cause he might not recognize me. But as soon as I headed for him, he smiled and draw his hand to mine. I was closer to like err but thank God I managed to talk with modesty. haha. He asked me if how am i doing... how was my studies... why ive turned from chubby to thin and perhaps i have a _____..am i still chatting at YM... told me that he s sorry for not replying on my text messages (greetings lang gud) coz his mom got his phone... he was not chatting lately coz their PC was broken... tomorrow will be their prom and he s going to give his partner a blue rose... three weeks from now will be their final exam.. asked me if how it feels like in college (poor him).. told me that he might be going to MTS tomoroow night for the LOVAPALOOZA... i started teasing him but he said he doesnt have any partner... he just wanna watch..(sana ako nalang yung partner..hehe).. I asked him to post his pictures (prom) in Friendster but he doesnt want to coz some freshies from Pisay have been stalking him..haha... And he knows that me and ylyssa have been chatting... I forgot what else he said basta madami xang ginapang yawyaw but i did not really paid attention to him...haha.. basta masaya akong kahit papano nagkikita pa rin kami... mejo bulol nga lang ako kanina.. medyo napasama ang dating ko sa kanya kase sabi ko kapag college ka na, seryoso na, unlike sa HS na pwdeng mag cutting classes.. sabi nya "uy!"..haha..bahala xa.. totoo bitaw.. haay... matangkad nga xa.. and its a good news..hahaha.. di nga ako maka tingin ng diretcho sa kanya eh.. kakahiya.. as in.. imagine nag aminan na kami sa chat na we both like each other tapos nang magkita parang wala lang.. parang dedma.. that's cool!!! ayus yan ah.. kaya lang nahihiya ako kase mejo malandi at madaldal ako sa chat tapos ang demure ko in person... sana i could get some pics of him sa prom nila.. pano ba? haay.. hindi talaga xa gwapo ba!! payat man ui.. pero gusto ko yung height nya.. tama lang.. mga 5 inches ung tangkad nya sa kin.. ang sarap ng feeling ng nakakatabi mo yung mahal mo.. yung mga elbows nyo bumabangga..hehe.. kababaw jud nimo gwen ui.. basta enjoy..

2006-02-09T20:18:00.000+08:00

2006-02-02T17:18:00.000+08:00

I saw him again! LoLz. too much happiness for a shallow reason, huh? he is a nobody for some but he s beyond my ideal someone. ha! wow again. This is what i hate about falling in love. am beginning to sound cheesy! I hate it. It s really unhealthy for me. And besides, i get a low grade whenever i like someone. peculiar! I need to be more diligent with my studies. I need to fill in those substandard grades.

2006-02-01T12:15:00.000+08:00

Im here at Net Express making the most out of the an hour break. My class will be starting at about 30 minutes from now but still im fucking surfing the internet. Im kinda hungry and havent taken my lunch yet. But i did took a snack recently..ummm that was 4 hours ago. BTW, It s a Science enrichment class but i dont feel like going coz its really a fucking crap. Its a waste of time. Id rather be in this cafe` and spend my boredom all day than listening to the teacher who doesnt really make sense at all. Im really fond of updating my blog and friendster accounts and blabbing away all my experiences...

BTW, a lot had happened to me the past few days but i didn't get to post em all. Most entries are of lazy writings as sometimes Im regrettably too busy or too exhausted or too moody or too whatever else to write that perfect shit of entry.

Tuesday started out so right coz i unexpectedly saw him in a quiet and uncrowded place in Buhangin early in the morning. He looks entirely neat and cute with his uniform. He was reading a book on the sidewalk while waiting for something {or someone? }... I took a glance at him and wished he was sitting next to me. Wala akong magawa eh!...

Sa Filipino Class, we had a drama and i played the role of a daughter. It was really really funny for portrating that role coz everyone thinks i was a **crazy woman*. Ha! I had fun with it. I love acting! {a bit, rather than reporting}.

After nung presentation namin, nag perform ung guy classmate ko whom they d always tease to me {even though i don't like him}. As in mejo nabadtrip ako nang bigla. Its not because i was over reacting but ...alam mo yun, yung you dont know how to react tapos they were staring at you na parang ikaw yung may gusto kahit hindi naman. Yung kahit anong sabi mo ng NO, still they d tease you na para kang sirang plaka na paulit ulit nalang. Sinasabi nilang nagseselos ako na kahit hindi naman. I am not jealous okay and that is the truth noh. Ang kulit nila. Kaya nung SOC namin, ummm... mejo nadulas ako sa galit. Mejo napalakas ko ung boses ko. Sabi ko I dont like the person and why they kept on teasing me with him. Tapos nasa likod niya lang ako. I kinda felt guilty kahit papano. Pero im not that hypocrite to tell everyone that im okay. Im just being candid of what i feel. Basta ayun. Frankly speaking, tactless talaga akong tao. Okay lang man pag i-tease nila ako bah, wag lang sobra. Nung time na yun, i was totally fed up. Kaya that happened.

My day was ruined by that. And it did not end there. We had no room for our Major. We kept on transferring and our CI was really not in the mood and kept on scolding us. Tanga pala xa eh. Kasalanan ba namin yun? aber? Tapos pinagalitan niya kami ni Mhaya kase sige kami tawa. Eh gaga pala xa eh, kami nalang parati napapansin. Palibhasa insecure sa beauty namin. Lol. Tanga talaga! Ako nalang parati napapansin. Ako lang ba ang taong masama inside the classroom??? ****. Parang naga menopause na xa. Corny pa jud mag joke! OA pa jud. As in! i really dont like her.

Today, Wednesday... Im glad with my Anatomy Midterm Grade kase sa lahat ng subjects, parang yun lang ang tumaas... 1 point lang pa jud. from 81 to 82. Oist malaki na yun ah. Mahirap makakuha ng ganun sa Anatomy. Malaki na nga ang 85.

I didnt get to see him kanina but I have a plan. This Friday... LoLz. I really am obssess huh? I guess so? who cares? Im living my life the way i wanted it to be so fuck the hell off. Oopz. Sorry for those foul words.

Anyways, Im totally fed up by this woman who d always end up saying things about me. Well actually, she is our C.I. and i dont really find her as a good one. I just wanna skip classes in her subject but one thing has kept me remaining... the thought na its a major subject??? Yah. Patience. Patience. Patience is all i need to survive this one and a lot of guts and determination. This time, my grades are dominantly flunking. Thats for sure. My goal is to get at least 85% on my major sub. and

2006-01-30T20:44:00.000+08:00

Janry has a substandard grade in Research which means *a meeting with parents*. But he wasnt able to bring his dad nor mom coz they werent around, i guess. Hmmm... he must be so worried by now. I know he d be taking it seriously. He s kinda pathetic! LoLz. Anyways their prom will a saturday so that means, no classes for me... I have a dirty plan! I think i wanna come to their prom night. Just kidding! Just hoping i could sneak somehow...its a masquerade party anyway. I could somehow disguise and get my own partner. Ummm... why not try Mark? Hmmm... Oooohhh... Am i allowed to enter Grand Men Seng without any invitation? OMG. I wanna meet Popoy na! I ll be meeting him at Bunchang... wakekeke ^_^. ayus

2006-01-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

Its already 11:05 pm and still im awake trying to post an entry and update all my friendster accounts. Me and my groupmates did our project but wasnt able to finish it so i got to bring home some card boards and had an errand to paint everything. Prior to that, we went to the mall and decided to try that so-called *tarot card reading*. Why not give it a try? Theres nothing to lose, right? Besides, i dont really believe in those stuff. But hey, when it was my turn, the *fortune teller* said may maghihiwalay at may magkakabalikan... and mahihirapan daw akong pumili sa kanila... basta yun na yun. Medyo tumama sya dun...hehehe.. totoo rin yung iba. kaya lang, may moments na hindi sya persuasive kase hmmm wala lang. Basta sabi nya may family gathering na mangyayari. Maganda raw relationship ko in terms of love life. Mahihirapan raw akong pumili sa kanila. hmmm... ewan ko. basta. Lingaw xa. kase medyo positive yung hula nya sa kin kaya ganun. Nahh, binubola ka lang nyan!!!!

2006-01-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

O ayan, pinagsabihan na talaga ako ni bernard ng *obssessed kay janry* . Kung sasabihin kong hindi, it would have to be a complete LIE. I know i am obssessed with him. I know what im doing. I know this is wrong and i look so stupid. Pero alam mo, siya lang ang nakakapagpasaya sa kin nang ganun. Kahit paminsan nonsense yung conversation namin, masaya pa rin. Even if he goes online rushing to go home or busy making his projects, id still go for him kahit na medyo impossible! Kanina, nagchat kami ni janry and grabe ung saya ko nung makita ko ung name nya naka online! Two weeks to go nalang at prom na nila. February 11 daw from 7-11pm. di ko naman xa tinanong pero cge xa yawyaw about sa prom nila. Masquerade daw ang style, cool!!! Sabi nya maghahanap daw xa ng katabi nyang magpa pic... sana ako nalang... hmmm medyo nagseselos na ako...kung sino man ung partner nya, she must be so lucky to have him the entire night. haay!!! sana ako nalang. tama ka bernard, i am obssessed with him. Ewan ko. Kaka excite yung parating wala ung crush mo. Ika nga, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Xa nga ung nakita ko last wednesday sa may Bunchang. Haay!!! sabi nya hinihintay nya raw ung service ng classmate nya. ano yun?? carpool?? wahahaha.. cool. i have bigger chances of seeing him every morning... yehey!!!... Gwapo pa rin xa... sana bumaba nalang ako sa jeep nung nakita ko xa... wahahaha... nice one.

2006-01-26T18:50:00.000+08:00

My life is somewhat like this one:

While you might be on the road to romance, there s a huge obstacle in your path. He isnt treating you with the same fervency that you re expecting. You hope and you wish, you wish and you hope, but he s squirming and seems uncomfortable in his current position. He s pretty immature and needs the backing of his friends before he can commit to anything. His sincerity is questionable and you re in for heartbreak. Time for a time-out and then you can see how you feel.

Cabee.. ano ba talaga? wont you make any move? geez... ang tanga! He s trying to pretend that he is numb with everything, when in fact, he already knew it. Na remember ko tuloy yung sinabi ng classmate ko noon. * hindi ka manhid, di mo lang talaga ako mahal*..parang ganun... kaka relate ako!!! But We both know what we feel for each other. Sabi pa nga nya * MU raw kami*... For short, hanggang crush lang xa. He doesnt want to commit to any relationship that s why he tries to be insensitive. Pero naisip ko rin, im just trying to make things complicated. Am not hoping na. Basta... alam kong may puruhang maging kami,wakekeke...joke!!!!!!!!!! Hindi ui. Joke lang. Basta..kahit best friends lang, okay na. Love ko pa rin xa kahit anong mangyari. Kahit hanggang MU nalang.. ok na...wakeke... in fairness he s a soulmate-potential. wakeke^_^...

2006-01-26T17:51:00.000+08:00

I got a 64/90 score in anatomy exam (lecture). not bad for a girl who spent chatting and blogging on the eve of the exam. I am completely satisfied with it and felt happy for myself and my classmates as well who got a passing score too. Youd barely pass in anatomy unless you are a complete NERD who could understand all anatomical and biological terms and spends spare time on reading those tons and tons of books...anyway, i really am surprised! only two subjects to go and that would be NCM 100 and NCM RLE. hope id get through all these stuff.

ive been hoping that God would be answering my prayers and my loved ones would inspire me to strive harder despite the obstacles. Sana 99% inspiration and 1% perspiration lang eh maka perfect man lang ako sa exams.LoLz.

2006-01-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

There was or there will be a scheduled outage of Blogger.com and BlogSpot this January 24, 4:00pm PST. Dunno what time that is in the Philippines but am making the best out of the worst. I spent almost half a day in front of my baby, PC. LoLz. I will be updating my blog twice today even though its our exam tomorrow, probably Anatomy (lecture).

Anyhow, i forgot to post some blog entries the past few days so i will be spilling everything out. Last Monday, I was scolded by our CI (Clinical Instructor), Maam Lumakang, for not performing my RD, well. I dont know what was my score but im still hoping it was a passing score. LoLz. It was really an emotional day for me. a dramatic one. Well, i did the scenario all by myself. I dont wanna let anyone see me crying, you know. I cried for not doing the RD right. Actually, the emotions i had wasnt just drawn from that RD thingy, it was also because of my lolo who was suffering from stroke, my dad who was worried with lolo, my grades in midterm which is all seemingly flunking, my friends who seemed to have left me, our lifestyle which is not turning good, and a lot more. Janry said, it is just normal to experience such things like this because it was God s purpose and it was written in the Bible. Its true. This world really is soo unfair. God i wish the world would end right away. But the thought that there are dreams which are still not fulfilled makes me think it must not come to an end. Not now. Haay basta. Masikip sa dibdib. I tried to stop the tears from falling but i cant handle it. I would go to an empty space and pray and sort things out. Still, i am fortunate. I dont need to worry that much coz God loves me. I know these are all trials that has to be faced. And it is God s purpose.

Anyways, I also got to chat with Ylyssa Valdevieso, YM ID is yly_29 . She said, janrys got a crush on me. Wakekeke. Oh well, i utterly miss him. I miss him. And i saw him kanina. And i did a good job in anatomy. See? Its a matter of prayers and inspiration to keep things up. haay bongga!!! i love my cabee... we were meant to be!!! kapalmoks!!! wahas talaga!!!

2006-01-25T14:34:00.000+08:00

I just saw him early this morning as i was riding the jeepney heading for school. He looked damn good with his uniform {kinikilig!!!}. Nung nakita ko xa, i felt like getting off the jeep but i thought of not doing it kase inisip ko "gwen, today is your exam, you prepared for this, tapos, magpapa late ka for a guy?". Well, am not even sure kung xa yun pero from a distance, i saw his face, the height and the Pisay Logo. Grabe talaga. My heart says, he is cabee. Even if i was uncertain of who that guy really is, whether he's janry or not, he certainly did made me smile. Oh well, i did a great job with my Anatomy... ummm not really that good but i was able to answer despite my usual trembling of the hands {whenever i get nervous}. I prayed many times talaga. Then, i prayed na sana di ako ma mental block. Muntikan na nga eh. good thing my prof put a resting station in the lab {cool huh?}. the moving exam was really time-pressuring. Wala talagang makakaperfect nun. ummm... cguro sure answer ko dun, more or less 15 lang. sana makachamba sa iba. But the good thing about anatomy is, if you fail, you are surely not alone.... isang barangay tayo!!! ang saya-saya. pero ayoko kayang balikan ang anatomy. pero in fariness, enjoy xa!!!

2006-01-22T14:55:00.000+08:00

my grades are flunking. Im beginning to deteriorate and i know why these things are happening. It's because i wished for it. But fulfilling this stupid goal isnt just right. Im beginning to feel disappointed about my grades. I just dont like the feeling. Whoa!!! Id be entirely busy for this upcoming week since we will be having an exam and the ever terrifying RD. From Monday to Thursday i will be offline. Friday? perhaps i could. Haay basta. the previous week really sucks primarily because it was the worst birthday ive ever had. Second, i got a 28/50 score in NS. really sucks. Whats next? Anatomy? RD? OMG. I think i need someone to inspire me. Someone... someone... My gosh! Its been a week full of bloopers. I think i need to chat with cabee. cabee. cabee. cabee. just needed the encouragement from him.

2006-01-21T13:25:00.000+08:00

hi..i'm here at net express. i just took my 3rd dose anti-hepa earlier this morning. It really hurts. My friends, Mark and Gaw got to accompany me. I made a treat for the both of them. I was the one who paid the fare and the lunch at Port Cafe:( No more money! huhuhu... I miss my cabee.

Anyways, speaking of cabee. I got to chat with ylyssa last night. By the way, Ylyssa is from Pisay and a good friend of cabee. marami akong mga names na gi mention from Pisay then sabi nya kilala nya yun lahat. sabi ko friends ko yun lahat thru the internet lang. Ang kaibigan ko lang personally is si cabee. Tapos bigla nya nalang sinabing may gustong babae raw c cabee. Medyo nasaktan rin ako. Eh, ang sabi nya may girl daw na dinala si cabee sa school nila nung sci camp last October. Long hair daw. Tapos may kasamang Bading. My God. It's me!!!! M.U. pa jud daw sila...wakekeke... omg. it was me all along. hihihi..kapalmoks ko noh??? parang na liver spread ako at that moment.

2006-01-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

So I still have time to blog despite my tight schedules, huh?And i really miss blogging. I must say, i barely go online nowadays {missing a day or two is BARELY}. But, yeah, it is true. I also miss going home early and chat with my precious cabee. I know, i have been utterly insensitive about what's going on, but what can i do, Im tanga. It's been a week since the last time we chatted. I really miss him a lot. And the sad part was, he didnt get to greet me on my birthday, neither the eve of my birthday. But still it isnt his fault coz he was online on my birthday. It was mine. i got home late, you know. Perhaps we will chat tomorrow. And I will make sure that he wont escape from me. LoLz.

2006-01-15T07:53:00.000+08:00

My lolo was confined at the ICU in New Era General Hospital yesterday due to stroke. My dad was completely worried about whats happening to lolo but he barely shows that he is. He just keeps everything to himself. He does not even cry. Its just isnt right. And Im both worried with my two fathers {dad and lolo). My dad said lolo is unconscious and he might be in a state of comatose. My mom and I (and I guess the whole family) already had a dreadful experience about people admitted to the hospital. And I don’t want that to happen again to my family. My grandmother {mom’s mother} was also confined in the ICU way back 5 years ago. We spent 8 months in the hospital and nothing really happened. Lola still died. So when a person gets admitted in an ICU here in the Philippines, expect the worst, death. Unlike in America, if you were that critical, you still have hope for you to be cured and stay alive. (Which Id always see on the reality TV). Dad said, its okay for him if lolo is going to die (GOD forbid) because he doesnt want him to suffer anymore. It’s quite true, but still its hard to say stuffs like that especially if its your father you are talking about. Circumstances like this are not easy. You should be strong and tough to face whatever consequences it may be. Dad really loves his father. When he was still young, His parents are less fortunate and cant afford to send them to school. So my father was the one who really worked hard and stand as a father to his siblings. He did this because he loves his father. And now, everyone is just panicking but my dad was still showing he is calm. Even if he is hiding his feelings, I know he is worried coz I can see it in his eyes. He has those teary eyes but he stops those tears from falling just to show us that he is okay.

God, please help us. We really need your presence. My dad needs you. Give him strength to endure those obstacles he might encounter.