I'm not feeling good right now (emotionally). I've got all these worries running through my head. I can't stop thinking of it. i just can't. I'm all worried with my studies, my family, my friends, and everything else. I know... i worry so much.. so much that i almost cry every night. And i hate it and people misunderstood me for being such a cry baby, for being so "mababaw", for being so weird for attempting to cut my wrist (radial pulse)... Yes i've thought of commiting suicide but never did i actually do it in my entire life. I mean yes i've cut my wrist but it wasn't that worst. It's not even bleeding that much. And of course I fear God and i still wanted to live and i don't want to disappoint Him. I know i tend to escape from my problems but i still took that valiant move of turning back and facing it instead. I know I may sound so shallow when i tell my friends all my problems... so shallow coz i'm actually lying to them...i lied to them coz i don't want them to pity me... also i'm not that comfortable sharing to them my problems.. and i know they will never understand me...never. People are such damn bastards full of pretenses... they've got full of surprises, ugly surprises! When you're around, They kept on praising you, pero pag nakatalikod ka ayun, they'll make gossips of you...And oh, i hate it when people try to sympathize or empathize on me even though they don't.will you please cut it out coz whatever you do, i still won't believe on you... you don't even look nor sound sincere. Sorry but i don't trust anyone! i'd rather entrust my secrets to a total stranger than to a friend who's a total betrayer... tinamaan ka ba?Sorry ah... i didn't mean to..just trying to post an entry here.."bato bato sa langit and tamaan wag magagalit."

mode: emo :(

feeling: unhappy, anxious

currently: crying

i feel so hopeless.. unloved.. unwanted.. and rejected.. i feel like like giving up.. i feel like dying.. i feel so unfortunate.. i'm useless.. i'm worthless.. i'm no one!

pagod na ako! ayoko na! pakiramdam ko pasan-pasan ko ang mundo.. ang hirap ipakitang masaya ka when in fact hindi..ang hirap magpanggap na kaya mo pa, kahit hindi na..gusto mong magpakatotoo pero hindi mo kaya..lahat lahat nalang ng problema nalang ay dinaramdam ko.. and the worst is, i can't even impart my sorrows to anyone.. all i did was to post an entry here in my blog.. my blog?? it's not even human!!!! para akong tanga.. talking to someone na hindi naman nag e-exist... parang IMAGINARY friend!!! I kept everything to myself.. and they don't even know how hard it is to constantly wear a smile in front of a crowd kahit na sa kaloob-looban mo ay nangingibabaw na kalungkutan.. hindi man lang nila ako maintindihan.. hindi man lang nila ako mapakinggan.. i hate this life.. i hate it!

This one is my Second Paper for Philosophy...

all readers MUST comment on it!

What is Happiness for Me?

The timeless rummaging for happiness is but a slight issue to me. Such queries come and go through this inquisitive mind of mine as to why people seek for it when in fact it’s simply right under our noses, just within our reach!

Why do people continue to seek for that so-called REAL happiness? And why would they call it REAL, in the first place?

People may perceive happiness as something that is worth a fortune or beyond one’s expectation. But for me, happiness does not come from vast amounts of money, glittering jewels, nor luxurious cars. Happiness comes from simple things and simple folks like our family, friends and loved ones. These things we call “simple” are usually the ones who give big and extraordinary surprises to us. So why after those material riches when we already have the real ones, right?

For me, my God, family, friends and such minute fulfillments are what I call “my treasure” and “my happiness”. They give me that feeling of love and belongingness that not any material could offer. They mean so much to me that I can’t even replace them with any riches in this world.

If all we needed to be blissful was to take hold of everything, then why are the well-off and rich ones still feel the absence of something? In satisfying themselves, they felt emptiness within. In acquiring possessions, they lost the whole thing, and in overcoming happiness, they found themselves unhappy and discontented. What is happiness, anyway? If we could only ponder profoundly over this question, we could have realized that happiness isn’t all about the fame, wealth and glory we could grasp in this fragile existence. Happiness is something that is entirely priceless and authentic.

This one is my Second Paper for Philosophy...

all readers MUST comment on it!

What is Happiness for Me?

The timeless rummaging for happiness is but a slight issue to me. Such queries come and go through this inquisitive mind of mine as to why people seek for it when in fact it’s simply right under our noses, just within our reach!

Why do people continue to seek for that so-called REAL happiness? And why would they call it REAL, in the first place?

People may perceive happiness as something that is worth a fortune or beyond one’s expectation. But for me, happiness does not come from vast amounts of money, glittering jewels, nor luxurious cars. Happiness comes from simple things and simple folks like our family, friends and loved ones. These things we call “simple” are usually the ones who give big and extraordinary surprises to us. So why after those material riches when we already have the real ones, right?

For me, my God, family, friends and such minute fulfillments are what I call “my treasure” and “my happiness”. They give me that feeling of love and belongingness that not any material could offer. They mean so much to me that I can’t even replace them with any riches in this world.

If all we needed to be blissful was to take hold of everything, then why are the well-off and rich ones still feel the absence of something? In satisfying themselves, they felt emptiness within. In acquiring possessions, they lost the whole thing, and in overcoming happiness, they found themselves unhappy and discontented. What is happiness, anyway? If we could only ponder profoundly over this question, we could have realized that happiness isn’t all about the fame, wealth and glory we could grasp in this fragile existence. Happiness is something that is entirely priceless and authentic.