I'm currently making this entry at 11:55pm and I really wanted to post one as a so-called "remembrance" for this year 2005... I'll really miss this year coz i spent a lot of memorable moments with it. Right now, people are making a slight noise. Not the same as the yesteryears where there were fireworks. So quiet and lonely...

mood: exhausted

haay..kapoi maxado ba.. ung bunso namin binuhos ang asukal sa sala... ang dami talaga!!! as in.. more or less 2 kilos yun.. sugar coated talaga ang mga upuan bah.. kainis tong kapatud ko ui.. tas nag walis pa talaga ako.. i made punas pa.. ayun nag away sila ng big sis ko.. {ulit!!} then medjo naawa ako sa bata kaya i made lambing lambing sa kanya.. pina upo ko xa sa tabi ko..nag computer kami..pinakita ko pic ko {hehehe}..para akong clown..tas pinatugtog ko ung fave song nya {especially for u} ..balik2x nalang jud.. tas hinila nya buhok ko..urgh!!! bata yan..wag mong patulan.. kainis talaga ui!!! buti nalang may nagawa ako.. tinakot ko!!! bwahahaha..tas nagchat na naman ako.. nag chat kami ni Ryan Sylver Tan.. boring pa rin.. maiksi lang pinag usapan namin.. ewan ko anong nangyari sa kin bat ko kinuwento love life ko.. weird!!! it just came out of my mouth.. ang bilis lang naming nagchat ba!!! as in.. kumain pa jud xa.. na interrupt ung conversation.. madami akong nadiscover sa kanya.. hindi ko akalaing hearthrob pala crush ko.. hindi ko rin naman akalaing super gwapo xa.. kase sabi ng classmates ko di raw xa gwapo.. kaya un.. naisip ko rin na medjo tama cla.. eh ngaun ko lang nalaman na ang dami palang nagkakandarapa sa kanya.. kaya na realize kong lumayo layo muna..back out ka muna gwen.. di ka pwede jan.. kaya naisip kong kaibiganin nalang kase di rin naman kami bagay.. tas bagay xa sa magaganda.. sa mga kapwa nya chinese..sa mga kapwa matatangkad..sa kapwa good-looking.. kaya di nga pwde.. parang nahihiya na rin akong makipagchat lalo na kapag ako ang first na mag say ng "hello" or "hi" kase baka sabihin nya malandi ako.. yoko maging bad ang image ko kase hindi naman talaga.. tas madami talaga xang chix sa friendster ba.. wala man talaga akong laban dun ui.. mga chix jud..eh ako isang hamak na isip bata.. yagit!!! bwahahha.. mga tipong model ang gusto yata nun.. tas mayaman rin yata.. campus crush din.. haay.. ayoko na yatang magkaroon ng crush ba.. cge nalang taken.. cge nalang bawal.. madami pa sana akong sasabihin sa kanya kaya lang gusto na nyang mag log-out.. haay kumokonte na mga crushes ko ngayon.. nuon bumabaha..ngayon parang xa nalang.. i find him amazing baya ui.. matalino tas pogi pa jud..matangkad rin.. kumakanta and he plays guitar.. poet pa jud {hinde puwit ha}..basta amazing xa.. pero sa tingin ko hanggang crush nalang..of course.. an ugly girl like me doesn't deserve someone like him.. like what i said..i'm minute compared to all he has..minute compared to his girls.. minute compared to all his achievements.. minute to everything nalang.. he's everything and i'm not.. kawawa talaga ako ba.. basta ui..ayoko na mag crush2x.. hinto muna ako cguro.. nkaka worry lang.. haay buhay.. parang patay!! hahaha.. kakapagod ui..hehehe..

mood: exhausted

haay..kapoi maxado ba.. ung bunso namin binuhos ang asukal sa sala... ang dami talaga!!! as in.. more or less 2 kilos yun.. sugar coated talaga ang mga upuan bah.. kainis tong kapatud ko ui.. tas nag walis pa talaga ako.. i made punas pa.. ayun nag away sila ng big sis ko.. {ulit!!} then medjo naawa ako sa bata kaya i made lambing lambing sa kanya.. pina upo ko xa sa tabi ko..nag computer kami..pinakita ko pic ko {hehehe}..para akong clown..tas pinatugtog ko ung fave song nya {especially for u} ..balik2x nalang jud.. tas hinila nya buhok ko..urgh!!! bata yan..wag mong patulan.. kainis talaga ui!!! buti nalang may nagawa ako.. tinakot ko!!! bwahahaha..tas nagchat na naman ako.. nag chat kami ni Ryan Sylver Tan.. boring pa rin.. maiksi lang pinag usapan namin.. ewan ko anong nangyari sa kin bat ko kinuwento love life ko.. weird!!! it just came out of my mouth.. ang bilis lang naming nagchat ba!!! as in.. kumain pa jud xa.. na interrupt ung conversation.. madami akong nadiscover sa kanya.. hindi ko akalaing hearthrob pala crush ko.. hindi ko rin naman akalaing super gwapo xa.. kase sabi ng classmates ko di raw xa gwapo.. kaya un.. naisip ko rin na medjo tama cla.. eh ngaun ko lang nalaman na ang dami palang nagkakandarapa sa kanya.. kaya na realize kong lumayo layo muna..back out ka muna gwen.. di ka pwede jan.. kaya naisip kong kaibiganin nalang kase di rin naman kami bagay.. tas bagay xa sa magaganda.. sa mga kapwa nya chinese..sa mga kapwa matatangkad..sa kapwa good-looking.. kaya di nga pwde.. parang nahihiya na rin akong makipagchat lalo na kapag ako ang first na mag say ng "hello" or "hi" kase baka sabihin nya malandi ako.. yoko maging bad ang image ko kase hindi naman talaga.. tas madami talaga xang chix sa friendster ba.. wala man talaga akong laban dun ui.. mga chix jud..eh ako isang hamak na isip bata.. yagit!!! bwahahha.. mga tipong model ang gusto yata nun.. tas mayaman rin yata.. campus crush din.. haay.. ayoko na yatang magkaroon ng crush ba.. cge nalang taken.. cge nalang bawal.. madami pa sana akong sasabihin sa kanya kaya lang gusto na nyang mag log-out.. haay kumokonte na mga crushes ko ngayon.. nuon bumabaha..ngayon parang xa nalang.. i find him amazing baya ui.. matalino tas pogi pa jud..matangkad rin.. kumakanta and he plays guitar.. poet pa jud {hinde puwit ha}..basta amazing xa.. pero sa tingin ko hanggang crush nalang..of course.. an ugly girl like me doesn't deserve someone like him.. like what i said..i'm minute compared to all he has..minute compared to his girls.. minute compared to all his achievements.. minute to everything nalang.. he's everything and i'm not.. kawawa talaga ako ba.. basta ui..ayoko na mag crush2x.. hinto muna ako cguro.. nkaka worry lang.. haay buhay.. parang patay!! hahaha.. kakapagod ui..hehehe..

mood: urgh!!!


Kainis that bitch. She really brings out the devil in me... She is a damn bullshit. Never thought i could be this mad with her.

Mood: dizzy

Music: nothing

Thinking about: my project, assignments, my birthday, my diet, him

Eating/Drinking: Sandwich


it's 9:23pm.. went blog hopping.. read blogs.. did not chat for the first time this week.. hmm it was really boring today. Mom and everybody else kept on scolding me why i was always using the Internet, the reason why we can't receive important calls. Anyway, i'm worried about my face, it's growing pimples. It really is.. wahhh... oops gotta go now.. that's all for tonight! ciao

mood: i don't know..guess i'm bored


woke up at 7. stared blankly at a corner... then watched Constantine... mom scolded me for being so stubborn so i cleaned the house.. swept and mopped the floor.. changed the throw pillow cases and curtains. baby-sitted my sister.. massaged my mom, and watched Herbie Fully Loaded. Afterwhich, it was 12 so i ate my lunch.. went outside the house and saw our dog having puppies..yipee!!! So far there were 6. went back in the house and took a nap. Woke up at around 2. watched Dirty Dancing..mopped the floor again. watched the puppies. played basketball outside.. Then visitors arrived, me and my sister got to serve their snacks, amf!!! my li'l sister messed up in the living room. urgh! turned on the PC at around 4pm.. opened my first account in Friendster, accepted a friend request and a new message..invited Greggyson Hong.. then ate dinner..yumm afritada..one of my favorites..went back to my PC..Opened my blogger account and made this entry.. tsk!tsk!tsk!..really bored as of the moment..

mood: still happy

can't get enough of him... he's the paradise of my desert. Makes me wonder, do i really hate him? or just pretending? He's really a cool and funny guy. I can't last a day without chatting with him. can't deny the mere fact that I'm falling for my own trap. This is another chapter of my endless infatuation with good-lookin' guys. can't tell if it's love, it's quite impossible to call it love.

Last night was a quiet and rainy Christmas Eve… I didn’t eat that much kahit may lechon na nakahain… just watched VCDs my sister rented at Video City…waited til midnight to hear everyone holler but unfortunately I didn’t hear any. My sister used the PC so I waited for her to finish but she did not. I kinda miss chatting with my version of Harry Potter. Is he mad at me? Is he doing this on purpose? Is he avoiding me? I hope he’s not.

uhgh! hmm... my english project finally went in my happy nerves and wrecked it with its perfection... damn!!!

i'm still working on it but i can't do it with 3 pages. What kind of childhood fear could reach 3 pages???? I was not that paranoid when i was a kid! Darn it, i hate Sir Dexter.

I whined like there was no tomorrow and my head is aching. I wish I was that creative to put some flowery words on my work...

Okay it's him alright...I admit it's him. No big deal! But still embarrassment can't be paid off, man... It's one heck of a hell. I apologize for calling him "wahas" . i don't even know what that means..i just got it from a friend in Philippine Science.`am no harsh, dude!!! And i'm sorry Bernard for not really paying attention to you. I'm really sorry if i kept on asking for help with my project and got nothing to repay you...only two words i could say "Thank You".

Now back to Mr. Carlo Han i was blabbing about. The only solution for this dilemma is to play hide and seek at school. `am not really good at that, but i'll try! I bet he's got those big grin on his face... he'll pin point me with his friends telling "oh, that's the girl na may blog about sa 'kin o"..wahas!!!! But it's nothing really!!! it's just a dose of embarrassment...cool, huh? But, hey, there's nothing wrong with crushing on someone. So why give a damn? Nah...

I didn't mean to offend him, really. I'm not even mad at him, besides it's not his fault for being too inquisitive to read my journal. It's me who lacks dexterity. I shouldn't have tried posting in those Friendster blogs, besides, i have this 2-year-old blog here.

There's one thing that annoys me... He keeps on talkin' 'bout the nursing stuffs particularly the RD.. helllooooo!!!! as if i don't know... Mom's a PT, my brother is a 4th year nusing student and my sister is a 3rd year nursing student. My Uncles and Aunts are nurses. To sum it all up, it runs in the family! But `am not really mad at him. How can i?

Hmmm.. namiss ko tuloy si Janry!!!

Foolish me coz i let myself fooled by him... Damn!!! Was that a prank, or what? Haloween is over but he's been trick or treating me!!! Whoa!!! Looks can be deceiving. Too much embarrassment on my part... and blame goes to me, it's still my fault anyway... "wahas talaga xa!"

I can’t believe I was that dim-witted to just let him see the whole thing. I was so dumb I wasn’t thinking when I posted those blog entries on Friendster. ‘twas sort of embarrassing for him to find out my secret. I’m doomed alright. I guess he’s been making fun of me right now. How can I not be so clever?

mood: happy. too much bliss in my world

The day is going well, thank God. I've got an offline message from him asking who I really am. To my surprise, he is online! We got to chat and had this outlandish mind of mine. Now my hands were trembling while pressing every keys on the keyboard. I was seemingly having that extraordinary spark in my eyes. Got those peculiar smile. And im too happy for words to describe!!! my day started soooooooo right... I just hope it will end perfectly!!!

i'm totally happy today knowing that my friend, Vanessa got to chat with my beloved Carlo Han... It's really okay with me... You don't know how happy I am!!!! I have this big o' smile... I'm just so eager to chat with him.

...{please don't comment on this one, i just wanted to spill out my emotions right now}..I'm really worried about my dad's health..I'd always pray for him once in a while coz it really hurts me a lot seeing him suffer ... I just can't help it but cry and hid myself in an empty space and ask for God's help and guidance... I know my dad has not been an ideal father for us. He was not always around when we were young. All he did was to give money. But he has been a good provider and that is what makes him an awe-inspiring father. I know he is doing this for our own good.

And I know he loves us. He kissed me a long long time ago. That was when I was about 5 years old. It's been a long time,huh?? We're not really that close. But I love him a lot, though I can't hardly express it. But, God knows I pray for him and my mom. Every night, I always cry because of him... I love him and what sucks is I can't help him ease the pain...

BOYS. I barely trust them since they are merely all the same. They just keep you anticipating and waiting, only to find out, you’re waiting for nothing. Well, based on my own perception, they are all just a bunch of LIARS. They keep on blabbing this and that and when time comes for you to fall for his trap…out of the blue, he's gone…

I have been working with our english project just today and i thought it was a 3-page article critique. So when i was half way the third page, something just kept on bugging me, so i opened my notes, found out that it only requires a 2-page critique. I'm done, at last!!!


No Yahoo Messenger, No Yahoo Mail and no Yahoo Seach Page???? That's my only happiness and now it doesn't work!


My Stomach and my back has been aching for hours and i thought my pants was just too tight. Only to find out, it was my monthly period! Darn it, No napkins??Urgh!!!

i have a new blog layout and i got the concept design from celeste chen but the entire blog design was made by me. For short, it's copyrigted. The colors i chose were apple green, hot pink, and bright yellow. It reflects my personality. Love my blog, love it, love it, love it!!!Anyways, i just finished attending our thanksgiving at church and i felt so overwhelmed about it. When i got home, Dad bought a popcorn and a CD, cinderella. I'm really looking forward to collect Disney movies.

Last night i went to church and was all wet because of the rain... Prior to that, a guy again approached and was convincing me again to become a "kagawad"..{ang KULIT} I just smiled as usual and of course i cannot guarantee them that i will accept it, coz if i do, I would be a complete LIAR. Anyways, when i got home I was all wet and eventually i got colds... and fever. I watched The PBB {Pinoy Big Brother} Big night and stayed up all night until midnight.

Today I missed Bro. Dante Ariola who was the one who officiated the worship service in Malvar. My sister got to see him...Darn it!!!

Ummm... Exams last week was postponed. An Exception for English. And, again, it is a major cramming day today and take note, my Filipino book was borrowed by my friend and i don't have it as of now. How can i study???{aber??} 6 subjects {more or less 20 units} for tomorrow including the major subject and another 5 units for our Anatomy on Wednesday... I'm doomed!!!!

I am completely out of control whenever i see him...My world doesn't seem to whirl and I think me being hooked with him and a few other guys is not a good idea… They are not just for me… They keep my attention diverted onto them and I don’t know if they would serve as a great inspiration to my studies or just a big destruction… And besides, even though how good-looking they are, still, they can’t be mine coz I know, No one belongs to me…

Finally, I’m through with my RD {Return Demonstration} and it was an absolute bliss for performing the procedures right. Though it comes with the words “excitement” and “anxiety”, nothing compares my very first but memorable demonstration…

It was a dramatic performance and hilarious as well. Everyone was ill at ease and prayed and prayed and memorized the procedures over and over again. Ironically, our C.I. {Clinical Instructor} was very considerate and told us to calm down and just relax…

When it was my turn, she checked my nails, posture, grooming and my demo. In the midst of my performance, there was a BLACKOUT… Darn it! But anyway, it was fun on my part…She then asked me some questions and fortunately, I was able to answer it. And then after the RD, I danced {though I don’t know how to dance} and shouted for joy… played with the dummies and congratulated everyone…hahaha... Really silly me!!!